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Pardon Me But You Have The Wrong E-mail Address

“I used Grammarly to grammar check this post, because even though I know everything, I don’t seem to be able to remember what I know.”

 

If you are offered something free, would you accept? What if it does not apply to your life and you have absolutely no use for it? Would you still accept it? Yeah, me too.advanced_woman_calendar-62883

I am signed up for a program called GiveAway of the Day. I blame my membership on Marti, or Cathy, or one of those friends who knows everything.

Every day I dutifully read about the gift of the day. I even like some of them and think how useful they could be so I keep the e-mail in my inbox so when I get home I can download this useful piece of free software.

I haven’t actually remembered to download any of them yet, but don’t good intentions count for something?

This morning when I opened the GiveAway of the Day e-mail, I was excited when I read Advanced Woman Calendar. I could use a calendar geared toward a woman’s busy life. Then I saw the dash and read –create your personal fertility calendar!

You have got to be kidding. Someone has spent untold amounts of time on this software. And now they are giving it away for free in hopes “woman” uses it and spreads the word so all their woman friends will rush out to purchase it.

Let me tell you the flaws I see beyond the obvious uses:

From the programs own propaganda:

1)      It says it allows you to keep notes – and this is the only place note keeping is allowed?

2)     It also Helps conceive a boy or a girl by predicting baby gender. Fantastic. Expecting parents have been trying to do this for years. Does it have an extra ‘X’ chromosome for sale?

3)     Supports Horoscopes and Zodiac signs because these are so important in becoming or avoiding pregnancy.

4)     Can turn your desktop wallpaper into an up-to-date ovulation calendar so everyone at the office knows when you need to run home for a quickie or when to avoid you.

5)     Tracks premenstrual syndrome because you are so good at hiding you bitchiness, your need for chocolate and your need to remove heads from idiots.

And they sent this to me to get for free. Great job you marketers who know everything. I haven’t been able to get pregnant or found a need to avoid getting pregnant in let’s see, thirty some odd years or so. I’m sure it wouldn’t take much for you marketers to figure this out as you have been gathering data on me for at least that long and most likely much longer.

But for those of you who may want it, and want it while it’s free, head on over and download it now.

 

From the life and mind of:

Wanda M. Argersinger

© 2012 All Rights Reserved

www.wandaargersinger.com

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6 comments

  1. YES! Can we figure out a battle plan?

    I am trying to figure out how to get rid of ads that show up in my FB messages. They have nothing to do with me or anything I might want in the future. I expect to see the weird ads on the sides, that’s open territory, but in my messages!!I do not want my friends to think I’m supporting the fake Dr. Oz’ weight loss ads – or any other similarly unrelated ad. Besides, Dr. Oz has a legal suit against those guys. I hope it’s settled soon.

  2. Just what I’ve always wanted! That along with Dr. Oz fat-melting ads. I really don’t mind that I ordered once from Popcorn Palace (or some such) and that I get three daily from them, but a personal fertility calendar beats them all. Hilarious!

  3. You get all the neatest albeit usless stuff off your computer. I don’t even get cougar ad/mail anymore, just funeral home stuff and “A Place for Mom”. Guess they figured my age. Jody, The Medicare Mom

  4. No one needs to track my PMS – it is highly evident, I’m told.
    BTW – sorry I had trouble commenting on your last post. I was without my smartphone for days, and the web filter at my work classified your site as “Pornography” when I tried to go to it there. So thanks for that. 😉

  5. I can see how vital this program could be. It’s very important to get the very latest in room decor and clothing for that future little boy or girl. I wonder if they give money back guarantee if they get the gender wrong. hahahahaha

  6. No. 5 ‘Tracking the Menstral Cycle’ at least when the police seize your computer they’ll know why the idiot was murdered. NASA is doing studies on weightlessness and Menstral cycles, to see if it dangerous on astronauts in outer space . DUH YA it’s dangerous! Now he psycho bitches can fly!

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