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If Curiosity Killed the Cat, What’s to Become of Me?

If you see things that are unbelievable, do you shut up and say nothing, or tell everyone you know? Yeah, me too.

I was on-line, shopping for my drugs that can’t be purchased at the local drug store. Stuff like Sine Off, which is the only thing that will get rid of the sinus headaches I have every single time there is a low pressure system in Florida. We are currently on day 579 of low pressure systems in Florida. No wonder I’m cranky.

Anyway, while perusing my site of choice for drugs, I found the Sine Off and put it in my cart. Amazing how these on-line carts never have that stupid, uncooperative front wheel. Anyway, I continued my shopping, the entire time my drug site of choice kept tempting me with products it either thought I needed or was stupid enough to purchase OR at least curious enough to look at. They were right.

chicken poopThe first thing they put out there is this stuff called Chicken Poop (Free Range Chicken Poop Lip Balm). As my Daddy would say, “If I’m lying, I’m dying.” Google it.

spotted dick

If that wasn’t bad enough when I clicked to investigate the Chicken Poop I was greeted, once again on the right of the screen with a picture of this stuff called Spotted Dick (Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding). Thank you very much, but I’ll pass.

lady anti monkey buttThey couldn’t surprise me with products such as Anti-Monkey Butt powder. I’ve purchased it before for my son’s, and it works. I am happy to report that the ladies are no longer excluded from monkey butt relief. There is now a Lady’s Anti-Monkey Butt in a pink bottle, just for the ladies. I began to wonder if things could get any stranger. They could.

dude wipes

The next strangeness, that I will tell you in advance, I did not investigate. The name was enough – Dude Wipes. Yup. You can Google it if you want.

 

If the Dude Wipes don’t fix the problem you can always balls balmpurchase ballsBalm. I’m a little afraid for those who use this product. I did investigate and it comes with an Exfoliating glove. I would put all of the description here, but even I’m not that brave. Please, for your sake and laughter that will make you pee your pants, please Google ballsBalm.

 healthy hoo hoo

And not to be left out of the strangeness, I bring you, healthy hoohoo(Gentle Care for Down There®.) I had seen enough, or in this case, I stopped before I saw too much.

 

I’m not sure why I’m treated so special and get to see the oddities this place has to offer. I thought offerings were based on your previous purchases. Perhaps they now believe that I have purchased enough drugs to be either stupid enough or high enough to purchase some of these things. If they do this by tracking what you look at, I’m in serious trouble. I did investigate all but one of these things. I leave it up to you to conduct your own investigation.

 

From the life and mind of: Wanda M. Argersinger

© 2013 All Rights Reserved

www.wandaargersinger.com

 

 

 

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11 comments

  1. Hilarious, Wanda. No wonder I don’t shop online. Items in the store are scary enough. What about those Protect your Manhood commercials?

    When I clicked on your address in the email it brought me straight here. But then the screen keeps popping all over the place. Yikes.

  2. Sure you didn’t leave out a letter and put in Sin Off? that might explain the ads. Only you could receive advertisements like that. When I used to order baby diapers etc. on line, I would get baby products right along side burial plans. Guess i confused them.

  3. Well! Haven’t you had some adventures in, um, hygiene and stuff! Balls balm? Time well spent, I tell ya what!!

  4. Well! Haven’t you had some adventures in, um, hygiene and stuff! Balls balm? Time well spent, I tell ya what!!

  5. OH MY GOD – I think I’ll be passing entirely. Glad I don’t shop where you do. hahahahahaha

  6. Curiosity definitely struck Ms. Wanda….however this is good knowledge to have, as you never know when such products may be necessary. LOL

  7. Curiosity definitely struck Ms. Wanda….however this is good knowledge to have, as you never know when such products may be necessary. LOL

  8. Personally, I prefer a hefty round of balls and bangers before indulging in a tin of spotted dick. But that’s just me.

  9. Personally, I prefer a hefty round of balls and bangers before indulging in a tin of spotted dick. But that’s just me.

  10. How did we live this long without those products? Hilarious, Wanda!

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