It’s 4:30 a.m. It’s 24 degrees. I am trying to get the gate open so I can go to work. The lubrication for the gears is frozen. The gears are frozen. The gate is frozen in the closed position. I am not wearing a jacket or a coat so I too, am frozen. No comment please – I live in Florida and I live in Florida for a reason. It’s supposed to warm here. Year round. Or that’s what I understood when I moved here from the frozen lands of the upper peninsula of Michigan.
I was mad. No one else would be here until 5:30 a.m. The frozen things are disrupting my day. I am not strong enough to budge the frozen gears, lubricant, and metal keeping me from the warmth of the office. I possess a Blackberry and am I know how to use it.
The actual copy of the message sent via Blackberry at 5:30 a.m.to those in charge of the gate.
The Verbal Deal:
Ok. Here is the deal I agreed to when I said I would work for you.
I would come to work.
I would be allowed into the facility and the building.
I would work doing accounting or whatever needs done.
Allow Wanda into the facility.
Pay her each week for her work.
What was not in the deal.
Making Wanda wait outside in 24 degree temperature because the gate won’t open.
Making Wanda turn into an ice cube while trying, unsuccessfully, to push said gate open.
Making Wanda wait for Shug who also could not open the gate in a normal fashion.
Make Wanda and Shug freeze while using a pry bar to open the gate and then block it open for the other employees. (Note to reader: Shug is the first man to arrive at the facility each day. He kindly stopped and pried the gate open for me.)
Bottom line: Get the gate fixed. It wasn’t part of the deal and I can’t come in through the front door. I am a back door employee only. This week it gets colder each day. I don’t wear a jacket. You will find Wanda standing like a frozen Popsicle beside the gate.
They replied and laughed and we all had a good day.
But it is 4:01 p.m. now. I have begun to think about the morning, the weather, and that gate. I have faced the closed gate before and have always prevailed with a hefty push and a few creative words. I’ve never had to deal with frozen lubricant, frozen gears, and a frozen gate. If anyone out there has useful advice please send it to me quickly. I need time to plan my morning attack. I need time to load my car with implements meant to open the gate. And I need to do all of this before dark and before the cold turns me into a Popsicle. Or worse.
From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
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