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Please Don’t Read Between The Lines

There are times in everyone’s life when they read between the lines trying to figure out exactly what the person who wrote the words really meant. Reading Help Wanted Ads is not one of these times when this skill should be practiced.

This morning I was reviewing resumes, responses and replies to a Help Wanted Ad for the position of Billing Specialist. The ad stated that the job requires strong accounting skills and the ability to learn and work proficiently in multiple software packages. 48 out of the 50 resumes received as of this morning prove that our education system is indeed failing. Either that or 48 out 50 of the people replying did not read the ad before zipping off what they believe suffices as a resume.

Accounting skills apparently translates to the following:
– making change and returning it in the correct amount to customers at the drive thru at the local Taco Bell
– meeting and greeting exercise enthusiasts at the local gym
– selling Real Estate (or at least being able to pass the Real Estate exam)
– any job that is medically related
– coffee Baristas
– formerly employed Call Center Operators
– anyone who, without help from co-workers and/or supervisors, increased sales by 100% in 1 year
– those whose goal is to “manage my own office in a billing department or in a Doctor’s office” (the job advertised is not at a dr’s office)
– bilingual persons without resumes
– former graduates of modeling schools and winners of beauty pageants
– ex military police
– those whose experience reads as follows:
“September 2005 to Present November 2003 to November 2004”
– anyone wishing to “to utilize my clerical skills”
– American Sign Language Interpreters
– claims adjusters
– stalkers (no joke. one resume stated this as part of their experience)
– Housekeeping, Cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, mopping and waxing floors, changing linen, etc
– anyone with 14 jobs in the past 3 years

Sometimes I wish I could educate job seekers, or attempt to, and let them know that this is not the time to “read between the line.” But then again, I would either be wasting my time and/or depriving myself of a lot of laughter. For the 2 out of 50 who actually got it right, I’ll see you in an interview. For the other 48, thanks for the laughs.

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