I received an offer for an orgasm today. It came over the internet. From a man I don’t know. Whose name I can’t pronounce. Spelled with letters I don’t recognize. From a country I’ve never visited.
His offer led me to believe that he was quite sure he could supply what he offered. I had other ideas.
My first question is what on earth would I do with an orgasm over the internet even if it could be delivered? And I have my doubts about that. You may laugh, but apparently this is quite serious business as this is not the first offer of this kind I have received. Most of these offers come from Turkey – not the meat, the country. I have given this issue quite a bit of thought and have decided that the men there: (choose from any or all of the following)
* live so remote they don’t or can’t have a relationship with a real woman
* live to annoy women from other countries
* like to see themselves on cam on the computer
* are arrogant, over confident, and have some affinity to internet sex
Back to my question about what to do with an orgasm over the internet. Seeing as how most of the time that I am on the internet is for business purposes, an orgasm just doesn’t fit into the picture. Sure I could accept the offer, record this orgasmic experience and then what? Play it back while I am in bed with what, my computer? Yeah, that would make perfect sense. Or perhaps there is a way to accept it while I am at work and then what? With all the supposed and promised bliss associated with this experience my boss would probably think I enjoy my job so much he would give me more work to do. Not happening. Orgasm or not, I think I’ll pass on that option. I could watch the man futilely attempt to perform while I was racked with laughter, but that would only be fun if he could see me. I don’t have a cam at work.
Can you put an orgasm in a box and save it for when you really, really need it? Is an orgasm so easy to obtain that it can now be delivered over the internet?
The next questions appear so quickly I don’t even have time to answer.
*How did this miracle orgasmic man find me?
*Why did he choose me?
*Why would he think I am in need of an orgasm from him?
*Why would he think I am in need of an orgasm from anyone?
*How does he know that I even know what an orgasm is?
*Why is he so sure he could provide me, or any woman for that matter, with an orgasm over the internet?
*Why does he think any woman would accept such an offer?
*What exactly do these men get out of this practice?
*Is there a job market out there unexplored?
*Why in general, you can fill in the words after the why. I’ve already been through the entire list.
Apparently I’ve been out of the “loop” so long that things have really changed. I remember seeing movies about the future where a “partner” is a test tube and all experiences are experienced alone, without the need of another human being. I didn’t realize we had reached that state. In this area it seems that the men in Turkey are so much more advanced than we are. Are we missing something here?
I replied to the mystery internet orgasm man – “thanks ever so much, but it has been my experience that NO MAN can supply an orgasm over the internet, but best of luck with your venture.”
He never responded back. Imagine that!