Excuses1

If you haven’t been doing what you should have been doing and have no good reason for not doing it, do your confess or make up more interesting excuses so you don’t appear to be lazy? Yeah, me too!

I have been quite remiss in keeping up with posting stuff to my blog, but it’s really not my fault. I say that with all the seriousness I can muster, and a straight face. Never mind that the straight face is due to lack of sleep and closed eyes. It’s still straight so it counts.

I haven’t been writing for the blog because (choose 1 of the following):

1)      I’ve been without ideas

2)      I’ve been avoiding writing from fear of failure

3)      I was kidnapped by pigmy’s

4)      I’ve been away investigating the haints

5)      I saw my future in my blogs and to be honest, I’m not that funny

6)      I drank some of Aunt Maybelline’s healing juice and have been comatose for almost a month

7)      I’ve been sleeping 5 hours a night which is way more than I should or need so my mind is confused (Except last night when I only slept 30 minutes and now can’t keep my eyes open and am expected to complete a bank reconciliation, review journal entries and produce financial statements. Never fear, when in doubt resort to creative accounting)

8)      I haven’t been able to wear high heels in 2 or 3 months

9)      My back hurts

10)  I found gray hair (on my upper lip)

11)  I’ve been writing books with nothing to show for my efforts. Perhaps if I wrote one book at a time, nah, that would mean I was sane

12)  One toe nail is shorter than the other and looks odd. How can one be expected to focus with such calamity in their life?

13)  I’ve been stuck by pins and all my creativity has leaked out

14)  It’s too damn hot to think, or is it too damn wet to plow? I get those confused.

15)  My sister’s name is Linda, or Sandi, or Roxanne, or Suzy Q

16)  I heard Coca Cola would be in short supply and have been consuming large quantities and living in the bathroom

17)  Dawn is funnier than I am

18)  So are Jody, Clay, Elmo, Twinkies, Shenaniganizers, and mudfish

19)  Aunt Clovis won’t leave me alone long enough to write

20)  My fingernails all fell off and who can type without inch long nails?

There it is, or they are, in black and white for your selection. If none of these fit with your idea as to why you haven’t see a blog posting from me in the past two months, contact me. I’m sure I can make something up on the fly that will satisfy your curiosity.

Thank you for your time, patience, and concern.

From the life and mind of Wanda M. Argersinger

Copyright 2013©  All Rights Reserved

www.wandaargersinger.com

 

 

This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Jody Worsham

    I pick #10an #11. Gray hair on upper lip sent me racing to the mirror. Funny stuff.

  2. Rose

    The “headache” excuse is old, but does happen. Also, you could reflect on your abilities as a serious writer, which conflicts with posting it on a humor blog; besides Dave Barry is the only humor writer I know of, who has won a Pulitzer. Your diary has taken precedent? Writing about all those hot dates that you have had from eSeniormatch.com is tiring, but beats the shit out of Martha Stewart’s conquests. Just sayin’

  3. Herm

    Only from the mind of Wanda.

  4. Anna

    Ha – I missed you. You didn’t say you’d gotten lost in Alaska. That’s always a good one.

  5. Jay Hudson

    I have gray hair above my lip too!

  6. Sharon

    Wanda, you’re back and firing on all cylinders. Hooray! Looking forward to more.

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