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All Together Wrong

If you see something that makes you feel insecure, do you keep it to yourself or blurt it out for the world to hear? Yeah, me too.

I have such admiration and respect for certain women. I don’t know most of these women, and only stumble across them by accident in my comings and goings each day.

It’s not that they have powerful jobs, wealth, or even unaltered beauty. It’s not that they attended some prestigious college, have traveled the world, speak 6 or 7 languages, or can even manage to make a soufflé without it collapsing before it is removed from the oven.


They possess something that to me is even more remarkable, the ability to coordinate their clothes, purse, control the volume of their voice, and can remember to put their jewelry on before they leave the house each day.

Only yesterday I was sitting in an office waiting for my turn, when I spotted this “all together woman” sitting right across from me.

She spoke confidently on her cell phone with a voice that was loud enough for the person on the other end of the phone to hear, but not so loud that I could eavesdrop.

She had on a gold necklace, gold rings, gold earrings, and on her right wrist a gorgeous bracelet.

Her makeup was flawless.

Her hair was fresh, styled, and all in place.

It’s wrong for any woman/person to have it all together, all the time, in public when I can’t manage it for a minute. I can’t even entertain the thought of being all together and if I ever were all together I’m sure I would rapidly fall all apart.

It was while I was looking at her in deep envy, that I remembered I too have beautiful jewelry to wear. I just don’t remember to put it on or even remember I have it until I notice an “l am all together woman” wearing her jewelry. Most of the time I can’t even remember where I put my gorgeous, expensive jewelry. I can’t even find the cheap stuff most days.woman in housecoat

Don’t get me wrong. My envy has nothing to do with wearing expensive jewelry. It has everything to do with remembering to wear what you have and having the ability to put the right piece of jewelry with the right outfit.

Hell, I’d even settle for just remembering to wear my jewelry a few times before my children and grandchildren inherit it.

As for her telephone voice, it was soft and feminine, and did not allow anyone in her vicinity to hear what delicious secrets she was sharing with her phone mate. I, on the other hand, have a deep, sometime sultry voice, with an uncontrollable volume. Someone took the control knob for the volume and ran away with it. I can still whisper, but when I whisper in Florida folks in Alaska can hear what I say.

I am envious of a lot of things but rarely think about them until they are right in front of my eyes – like an “all together woman.”

As I sit here and write this I notice that I have on no jewelry today. None as in no watch, no rings, no earrings, no bracelets, and no anklet. Nothing, Nada. No gold. No silver. No sparkle. I am failing miserably at being altogether. My hair is a mess and I believe my makeup has melted.

I fail at a lot of things. Most of them don’t bother me until I see my failures right in front of my eyes, like that “all together bitch” sitting across from me.

From the life and mind of Wanda M. Argersinger

© 2015 All Rights Reserved


About Wanda Argersinger


  1. You do have it together. Hell, you could be me… But I just love the story, because it’s so true.
    Happy Birthday to the most beautiful woman I know.

  2. Wanda,
    So funny – though you appear to be more together than I.

    What you wrote is so true of me. I go to work without my watch or pen, sometimes even my id card. Yikes! Yesterday I left my bottle of tea in the car, so had to ask my supervisor for a few minutes to run out to the soda machine to get something to drink.

    You are a funny, funny lady.

  3. Happy Burr Day to You. Happy Burr Day to You. Happy Burr Day Dear Wanda-with-no-jewelry. Happy Burr Day to You (Note how i observer copyright laws)

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