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Happy New Year 2011

Are you ready for Christmas? There are only 360 shopping days left.

I’m not ready for the Christmas that we just had.

What are you doing for New Year?

Nothing.

Accomplishments in 20 10 – zero.

Days in which accomplishments could be made – 365.

Good bye 2010.

I’m not a Scrooge or curmudgeon or a dooms-dayer.

I’m a realist and I am realistically calling 20 10 bad. Okay, there were a few good parts.

I didn’t make a New Year’s resolution list at the beginning of 2010. That’s the one time I was smarter than myself. I would have broken all of them. Hell, I might have even run over a few just for good measure.

Now I find myself at the end of another year and am faced with two inevitable questions: 1) What am I doing for New Year’s, 2) am I making any New Year’s resolutions?
1) For those who may give a damn, I’m going to sleep in to next year.
2) Yes, even though the lists from 2007, 2008, and 2009 remain untouched.

Wanda’s 20 11 New Year’s Resolutions:

1) I resolve to hang up my clothes each day so I can vacuum the carpet without sucking up stockings, panties, and bras that have gone missing

2) I resolve to record my ideas when they happen and not spend countless hours wondering what the hell I thought was so funny three hours ago

3) I resolve to find the missing mini-tape recorder that has been missing since the EBWW held April 20 10. Locating said recorder would make resolution #2 easier to keep

4) I resolve to install MS Office on my computer. It’s been off since before Thanksgiving 20 10. If it’s not installed by February, I resolve to coerce Dawn into swinging by on her way to Key West to help a friend out. (I’ll even let her jump on my bed when the installation is completed.)

5) I resolve to read at least one of the 365 newspapers delivered to my house this next year (especially since I have to pay for them, store them, cart them out and recycle them)

6) I resolve to limit my accumulation of bags (bags people, not purses) in hopes of losing the title of Bag Lady of Pensacola

7) I resolve to stop purchasing shoes when they will no longer fit in my closet while still in the boxes (the space between the hanging clothes and the purses stacked on the floor shall not be used in this calculation)

8 ) I resolve to limit (note the word limit. It has no specifics.) my purchase of pink lipstick

9) I resolve to attempt in every way to lower the speed at which I drive

10) I resolve to carry less than 10 ink pens in my purse (unless they are absolutely necessary)

11) I resolve to stop soliciting (you can fill in the blank. I do too much soliciting as it is.)

12) I resolve to stop being sucked in to all those internet freebie advertisements that have more than 14 screens that accumulate personal information when you don’t get anything free anyway

13) I resolve to stop sneaking birds on the airplane inside my carry on luggage

14) I resolve to continue to offer free advice even when it isn’t asked for

15) I resolve to only swim nekkid when I am alone or with someone

16) I resolve to continue to feed Anna’s and Alba’s addictions (hey, it’s cheaper than drugs, contains less calories, and doesn’t require warning labels)

17) I resolve to try and keep my morning meds and evening meds accurately labeled so I can be awake in the daylight hours and asleep during the darker hours

18) I resolve to inquire more, require more, acquire more, and generally annoy people who have no funny bones

19) I resolve to take less quizzes on Facebook. (who cares which body part I was first anyway and which flavor of ice cream fits my personality)

20) I resolve to keep theses resolutions for at least one week, or seven days, whichever comes first

Stay tuned for a laughter filled 2011. Happy New Year’s !!!!
From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2010 All Rights Reserved
www.wandaargersinger.com

About Wanda Argersinger

10 comments

  1. I love the way you think. You’re Polish logic is as bad as mine (I grow bedsprings and french toast sticks remember?).

  2. Love it! May I jump on your bed too? Don’t understand #16. Are Anna and Alba your poochies?
    Have fun, be nice to yourself and enjoy every minute of 2011. Remember life is about the journey, not the destination.

  3. This was fun to read, and actually makes me wonder why I can’t even make a short list. But I really like number 2 (your number 2, that is) where you plan to record your ideas down ASAP. I am trying to do that and boy, it is important to get it the minute I think of it because it is gone the next minute! Great ideas, Wanda. I love your writing.

  4. I agree with Jeanne, number 2 is the one I need to lick for 2011.
    I love this column, Wanda. Happy New Year!

  5. Well, I’ll agree with your list with a few exceptions. while I do like pink lipstick I still prefer Monica Red,and I simply cannot have less than 10 ink pens in my pocket,10 in the car,10 in the van,and a cigar box full on my bookshelf.

    And you are right about 2008,2009,and 2010. Three bad years in a row I would just as soon forget.
    I noticed that you,Dawn,and Joyce all seem to be online at 5:00A.M. every morning.Is the water down there polluted or something to make you all get out of bed at such an unGodly hour.LOL! Love you Wanda! Happy New Year!

  6. I also like No. 2. May I borrow it? (If not, that will explain my lapses in memory, and I will firmly claim that it is all your fault that I can’t remember that great book idea that would have let me pass both John Grisham and Mary Higgins Clark on the best-seller list.) As for the 10 pens, I’m wondering how many of them actually write? I usually have to go through at least 2 or 3 of them to find one that hasn’t run dry.
    Happy New Year to you too.
    Janet Elaine Smith, multi-genre author
    (P.S. I didn’t know you were a solicitor. Are you doing that nekkid too? LOL!)

  7. hahahahaha…..no Anna is her assistant, friend, and daughter she never had, Alba is her daughter in law….Wanda is the best asset in my life in so many ways!

  8. Good luck. Sounds simple. I like simple.

  9. Awesome list, Wanda! Sending you best wishes for a fabulous new year!

  10. Happy new year, I am addicted and love you mom, good luck.

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