Are you ready for Christmas? There are only 360 shopping days left.
I’m not ready for the Christmas that we just had.
What are you doing for New Year?
Accomplishments in 20 10 – zero.
Days in which accomplishments could be made – 365.
Good bye 2010.
I’m not a Scrooge or curmudgeon or a dooms-dayer.
I’m a realist and I am realistically calling 20 10 bad. Okay, there were a few good parts.
I didn’t make a New Year’s resolution list at the beginning of 2010. That’s the one time I was smarter than myself. I would have broken all of them. Hell, I might have even run over a few just for good measure.
Now I find myself at the end of another year and am faced with two inevitable questions: 1) What am I doing for New Year’s, 2) am I making any New Year’s resolutions?
1) For those who may give a damn, I’m going to sleep in to next year.
2) Yes, even though the lists from 2007, 2008, and 2009 remain untouched.
Wanda’s 20 11 New Year’s Resolutions:
1) I resolve to hang up my clothes each day so I can vacuum the carpet without sucking up stockings, panties, and bras that have gone missing
2) I resolve to record my ideas when they happen and not spend countless hours wondering what the hell I thought was so funny three hours ago
3) I resolve to find the missing mini-tape recorder that has been missing since the EBWW held April 20 10. Locating said recorder would make resolution #2 easier to keep
4) I resolve to install MS Office on my computer. It’s been off since before Thanksgiving 20 10. If it’s not installed by February, I resolve to coerce Dawn into swinging by on her way to Key West to help a friend out. (I’ll even let her jump on my bed when the installation is completed.)
5) I resolve to read at least one of the 365 newspapers delivered to my house this next year (especially since I have to pay for them, store them, cart them out and recycle them)
6) I resolve to limit my accumulation of bags (bags people, not purses) in hopes of losing the title of Bag Lady of Pensacola
7) I resolve to stop purchasing shoes when they will no longer fit in my closet while still in the boxes (the space between the hanging clothes and the purses stacked on the floor shall not be used in this calculation)
8 ) I resolve to limit (note the word limit. It has no specifics.) my purchase of pink lipstick
9) I resolve to attempt in every way to lower the speed at which I drive
10) I resolve to carry less than 10 ink pens in my purse (unless they are absolutely necessary)
11) I resolve to stop soliciting (you can fill in the blank. I do too much soliciting as it is.)
12) I resolve to stop being sucked in to all those internet freebie advertisements that have more than 14 screens that accumulate personal information when you don’t get anything free anyway
13) I resolve to stop sneaking birds on the airplane inside my carry on luggage
14) I resolve to continue to offer free advice even when it isn’t asked for
15) I resolve to only swim nekkid when I am alone or with someone
16) I resolve to continue to feed Anna’s and Alba’s addictions (hey, it’s cheaper than drugs, contains less calories, and doesn’t require warning labels)
17) I resolve to try and keep my morning meds and evening meds accurately labeled so I can be awake in the daylight hours and asleep during the darker hours
18) I resolve to inquire more, require more, acquire more, and generally annoy people who have no funny bones
19) I resolve to take less quizzes on Facebook. (who cares which body part I was first anyway and which flavor of ice cream fits my personality)
20) I resolve to keep theses resolutions for at least one week, or seven days, whichever comes first
Stay tuned for a laughter filled 2011. Happy New Year’s !!!!
From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
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