Don’t you just hate it when at this time of year when we are all supposed to be filled with joy and spirits of the season, someone inevitably ask the one questions that kills not only the spirit of the season but possibly the questioner as well? Yeah, me too.
I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business when in walked the season wrecker. The very person that makes me scream Bah Humbug.
The spirit slasher.
The joy jerker.
The holiday humbugger.
“So, have you finished your Christmas shopping?”
It’s only December 23rd. What the hell does this man expect?
I have an ill feeling that he is one of those planner type people. You know the ones. They remember every holiday. Weeks before they are even here.
They decorate for every holiday, even the minor holiday like National Bicarbonate of Soda Day. (December 30th in case you’re curious.) How does one decorate for this day? See Mr. Spirit Slasher. I’m sure he knows.
They smile the entire month of December, and November just to annoy us.
They speak of decorations that go up before Thanksgiving.
They know what the most popular toys are and which stores have the best prices.
They offer to help.
I hate them.
No one brings Scrooge into the picture faster than them entering an office.
They aren’t really difficult to spot. They are decked out in smiles, holiday apparel, and walk around spouting holiday greetings, smiling and singing Christmas carols.
And they multiply like house flies and are just as hard to eradicate.
I tried once.
To eradicate them from my office.
I gave one my best hrrrumph humbug. He patted my back.
I tried to bite him.
He gave me a hug.
I frowned in his face.
He smiled and said “may you always have the holiday season in your heart.”
I wanted to shoot the fool or at least slap him but he made me smile.
Not my snarky ‘you’re stupid and don’t know it smile’.
It was a real smile.
Don’t worry. He hasn’t converted me yet into one of those annoying happy holiday people, though he continually tries.
I do my best to avoid him.
Inevitably he will do something like put a gift on my desk or decorate my cubicle.
I’d love to tear it down but against every grain of my being I have to admit, it’s festive and even makes me feel a bit better.
Even if I’m not finished shopping.
From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
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