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I May Be Blind But I Know Crapola When I See It

I drove home from work yesterday all by myself. And safely I might add.

I’ve done the same thing for the past thirty-something years.

No BIG deal you think.

Well it was, because I did it and didn’t run over anyone or anything. I think.

For the past month or so I haven’t been able to read those teeny tiny words at the bottom of the television each time I change the channel. That’s important to me. With so much crap on tv these days I need to screen out things like the evening news, political pundits, the morning news, and other crap.

So yesterday I called my favorite eye dr. She said come right in, so I did.

With limited eyesight I filled out all 43 of the required forms. I’m sure I signed the one that said I DECLINE to have my eyes dilated.

They dilated my eyes. This was after I removed my contacts which happen to be the very things that allow me to see things other than walls.

They told me my vision had decreased from 20/20 to 20/50 which was barely above legally blind. (That’s Blind people – not blonde.)

They did a bunch of other tests and then said I needed to be seen by a retina specialist. Do it now because your eyes are dilated.

I put my contacts back in and drove across 4 lanes of traffic (safely) to the retina specialist.

They took the copies of the reports from doctor #1and instructed me to complete 27 new forms.

I did inform them my eyes were dilated, just in case.

They dilated them again, just in case.

I did have the opportunity to remove my contacts first. I put them in a case with contact solution to keep them safe. After all how could I drive home without them?

I proceeded through the exact same tests Dr. #1 performed and then was instructed to wait in a dark room.

When Dr. #2, the retina specialist was ready I was escorted to a small room, perhaps a closet.

He looked at the notes from Dr. #1, then he asked me what was going on. (Question #1.)

I explained that my vision had been distorted for about a month and I have had a headache for more than 1 week now, without relief. I stated I assumed the headache was from straining my eyes to see.

“Hmmmm. You’re vision has been distorted for a month and you’ve had a headache for a week and your first thought was to see your eye doctor? “

“Should I have consulted with my gynecologist?”

“You never thought of seeing your family doctor?”

“I was there last week for my quarterly visit and everything was fine.”

“In my experience headaches like this are normally sinus headaches. I’ll send a report to your family doctor. I suggest you see him tomorrow but I’ll be glad to check them again if necessary.”

“Thanks but next time I’ll my podiatrist.”

I left his office without the benefit of contacts in my eyes. When I did have the chance to remove them from their case and insert into my eyes I noticed that in my clear way of seeing things I had put one on the rim of the case and cut it in half. The other one was salvageable.

So I put it in and drove home with double dilated eyes and one contact lens.

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M Argersinger
© 2012 All Rights Reserved

About Wanda Argersinger


  1. Congrats on making home. At least you’re not a blind blonde. I suspect you need different contacts, as in contact different eye doctors. Either that or they need contacts, both in eyes and in to whom they refer patients.

  2. hmmm….sounds like a racket to me. Did you at least get a new prescription for contacts that will put you back to 20/20 vision?

  3. Oh Wanda. So glad you made it home safely. What a bunch of hooey! Did they prescribe new contacts? Your story would be funny if it wasn’t so scary.

  4. Glad you are safe–and sound? Well, I know you well enough to know that might be questionable–on a good day. LOL!
    I just hate it when you go to a dr. and the first thing they ask you is “What’s the problem?” or as in your case, “What’s going on here?” If we knew that, we wouldn’t need the darn doctor!!!
    Janet Elaine Smith, multi-genre author

  5. Does your regular eye guy know what the retina specialist said? Eye Guy might take offense that Ret Spec called him a liar. What Did E.G. see that R.S. did not?

    I suppose it would be politically incorrect to suggest an act of patriarchy here so I won’t do that.

  6. Trouble with specialists is that they don’t talk to each other and they don’t see the whole picture, or the whole you. You have to carry around a file cabinet or have some program that consolidates all meds, and diagnostics so they can insert it….where ever….to get the big picture.

  7. Wanda, it is good to know you are legally blonde, like me. Your docs were of no help…perhaps you would have been better off at your gynocologist’s office.

  8. And how much did this non-help cost you? I think we shouldn’t have to pay unless they actually manage to help in some way. Now wouldn’t that change things up. Can you imagine the cures they would suddenly discover if they only got paid for the good results and had to suck up the cost of failures?

  9. I don’t know, Wanda! when I was 13 years old I remember the preacher at church telling all of us boys that thinking about sex would make us go blind.
    I’m almost completely blind since yesterday when a friend in Pensylvana posted a photo of the granddaugher of a cousin of his.She had won a bikini-fishing contest sponsored by Bass Pro. she won two tickets and wanted to know if my friend could go with her.He asked his wife and immediately got a tern warning.”Hell no! You are busy that weekend.” My friend posted her info and contact info for any of us who thought we might be free that weekend. Everyone of my male friends has an appointment with eye doctors next week. I really like fishing and I was going to call her but the numbers were too fuzzy for me to read and Camilla refused to dial the number for me. I guess red bikinis are bad for retinas.

  10. Makes me cross eyed just hearing about it!

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