{"id":411,"date":"2011-01-11T05:24:14","date_gmt":"2011-01-11T11:24:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wandaargersinger.com\/blog\/?p=411"},"modified":"2011-01-11T05:24:14","modified_gmt":"2011-01-11T11:24:14","slug":"midnight-crappers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wandaargersinger.com\/?p=411","title":{"rendered":"Midnight Crappers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Holy chocolate! <\/p>\n<p>Who crapped in my bed?<\/p>\n<p>I mean it.<\/p>\n<p>I demand to know who crapped in my bed.<\/p>\n<p>I have no dogs living in my house.<\/p>\n<p>I have no cats living in my house.<\/p>\n<p>I have no young children living in my house.<\/p>\n<p>The three bears would find it intolerable in my house.<\/p>\n<p>Basically I have me living in my house and I was housetrained over 50 years ago.<\/p>\n<p>And yet, there is a pile of crap in my bed.<\/p>\n<p>So once again I ask, who crept in to my bed and crapped?<\/p>\n<p>One night last week, weary from the day, exhausted from the drama, I crawled in to bed to relax and sleep. <\/p>\n<p>There are approximately 6 pillows on my bed at all times. I tried to rearrange the pillows to my sleeping position. One pillow refused to move. No one gave the pillow the right to have its own mind. It is supposed to move as I want it to. <\/p>\n<p>I investigated the unwilling pillow and found it wedged to the bed by a pile of dried brown stuff. Stuff that looked like crap.<\/p>\n<p>I do, on occasion, take Ambien to help me sleep. <\/p>\n<p>I know that there are those who wander and eat while on Ambien. <\/p>\n<p>Are there those who take Ambien, wander and crap in stranger<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Holy chocolate! Who crapped in my bed? I mean it. I demand to know who crapped in my bed. I have no dogs living in my house. I have no cats living in my house. I have no young children living in my house. The three bears would find it intolerable in my house. Basically [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-411","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wandaargersinger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/411","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wandaargersinger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wandaargersinger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wandaargersinger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wandaargersinger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=411"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wandaargersinger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/411\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wandaargersinger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=411"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wandaargersinger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=411"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wandaargersinger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=411"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}