The room has three tables in it. Each table has four chairs placed around it. Every time a woman walks in to the room the chairs are all pulled away from the table. Who is the bigger idiot? The men who sit at the tables, scoot the chairs out when they stand up and leave the room? Or the women for pushing every chair back under the table and not slapping the crap out of the men?

I know. I know. This is going to stir up some controversy, but, I’m not one to shy away from what needs to be said. If it were just these chairs, okay, maybe I could understand and live with it. They are after all in a hurry to get to work each morning. They are after all just men. But it seems to be every chair they sit in.

I can’t tell you the number of times I have walked in to a dark office and then had to pick myself up from the floor because I tripped over some chair left out in the middle of the room. I’m not quite sure what kind of scoot these men use to propel a chair 14 ½ feet backwards from the desk they sit at. I’m not even sure I want to know why they were in such a hurry that they used this kind of phantom force to move it. I am however curious what goes on, if anything, in the mind of these people. (I say people here because I have to bend a bit and confess that there is also one woman I know of who is as guilty as the men. And yes, she needs the crap slapped out of her too. She was the first cause of my accidental floor kissing episode.)

Do none of them notice that each time they walk into these rooms that the chairs are always under the tables or desks? Do they think there is some person who is hired just to walk around behind them and push chairs back into their proper place? Maybe they believe in “The Chair Fairy”. Or perhaps they believe that it simply is not in their genes or jeans to push a chair back under a table or desk. Or are they (I’m betting on this one personally) completely oblivious to the entire thing?

I’m not sure, but I think (I am giving myself a lot of credit here) that I would notice if something of mine were moved every single time I left it in a certain place, chairs included. I notice and I haven’t a bit of OCD tendency. I have one of the messiest desks in the entire office, and I notice if anything, including the sticky notes, napkins, paper clips, crackers, lipstick, calendars, emery boards, glue sticks, scissors, straws, or Tacky Finger, are moved when I return to my desk after being gone for a few hours. If I notice them, a chair is an easy bet.

If we, the “chair mover backers” suddenly stopped doing this, would we disrupt some cosmic force and cause a sudden awakening in these people? Or would the force be so strong that it would cause a misalignment of the planets and cause men inherit some Venus genes? Oh, could we be so lucky?

So back to my original question. Who is the bigger idiot? Those who leave the chairs strewn everywhere except where they belong? Or those of us who continually kiss the floor, and move the chairs back anyway? I think the math and proverbial forces of the universe are stacked against us here. I’m just thankful there is a Floor Cleaning Fairy because my lips seem to spend a bit too much time kissing it.

From the Life and Mind of

Wanda Argersinger

All Rights Reserved 2009

Leave a Reply