Wanda Argersinger

Wanda Argersinger Author, Humorist, Health Educator

Inspirational Speaker, Teacher

My Current Projects

What If I’m Okay?
The Lupus Sequel

Cognitive Dysfunction for the Lupus Impaired

“Whenever I think of something but can’t think of what it was I was thinking of, I can’t stop thinking until I think I’m thinking of it again. I think I think too much.”
Criss Jami, Killosophy

 

LUPUS PT 1: What’s the name of that movie? You know. The one in which, oh, dammit, what’s-his-name plays the guy who works for some agency that prevents serious crimes? You know, the actor from that other country.

LUPUS PT 2: You mean the one with the two men who went to that, u know, that place they had to get to in the plane? Or was it the one with the helicopters?

LUPUS PT 1: Yeah, that’s the one.

 

I beg to differ with you, with the man-in-the-moon, with the smart ass waiting for an answer, with the television host, and anyone else who thinks it is age-related, stupidity, ignorance, Alzheimer’s, or a lack of gray matter. It has a name – cognitive dysfunction, and it is real.

MY Live COURSES

“Pensacola State College “

 

Jan 28 /2020 To Feb 13 /2020 (( Ended ))

Course in: “Write The Stories”

 

Feb 25 /2020 To March 10 /2020 (( Ended ))

Course in: “Advocacy, Self/Fam” at Pensacola State College beginning Jan 28. This is a course for anyone who needs to advocate for themselves or for a loved one.

 

April 7 /2020 To April 23rd /2020 (( Ended ))

Course in: “Writing Your Book”

 

June 2 /2020 To July 7 /2020

Course in: “Write the Stories of Your Life
Tuesdays / From 5 pm to 7 pm

October 20 /2020 To November 5 /2020

Course in: “Writing Your Life
“Tuesday & Thursday from 5:00 pm to 7:00 pm”

My Next Class

Course in: “Create and Use a Bullet Journal”

ABOUT ME

  • Date of birth
    March 1965
  • Languages
    English, German, Arabic
  • Hobbies
    Writing, Puzzles, Yoga
  • Email
    wanda@wandaargersinger.com

I was born in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan in the little town of Newberry, home of the state mental hospital. (I can’t believe I admitted being born north of the MJason Dixon line. Please don’t tell) Born with a purse and lipstick in one hand and pen in the other I was also born with a very vivid imagination and the need to write. I moved to Florida with my family in 1959 and consider myself a Southerner, reveling in all the quirks, Bubbas, bar-b-ques, and seafood of Southern life. I travel extensively talking to anyone who has the misfortune of finding themselves seated, walking or otherwise beside me.

In the second grade, I wrote my first official story using the spelling words for the week. The story revolved around mice that lived in the walls of my home, drank too much, and partied into the night. Though counseling was suggested, I avoided that path and instead chose to continue writing.

I consume books rather than read them. I love to read anything by Jill Connor Brown“ The Sweet Potato Queen, Robert Fulghum, Celia Rivenbark, any female humor writer, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, and even Kathleen Woodiwiss.

In 1992 I was diagnosed with lupus, a life-long chronic illness. At the time I was working as a Network Engineer.

In 2002 my illness forced me to leave that profession and redirect my life.

In 2003 I became the Executive Director of The Lupus Support Network and now travel educating others about lupus. Instead of giving up and focusing on the tragedy of the illness, I began seeing the humor in life and now write about what I see and share it with others. My two sons, three grandsons, and granddaughter are the joys of my life. I am currently working on three different books of short humorous pieces about life, especially mine.I do some of the craziest things by accident and freely confess them in my writing.

Life is the most interesting topic for any story. I find humor everywhere I go. I enjoy life, learning and sharing my stories and adventures with others.

Born with a purse in one hand and lipstick in the other (still there today though the purse is more like a suitcase and the lipstick is bright pink)

1962 – First story is written in 2nd grade using spelling words; subject – mice who drink too much and party all night long: teachers suggest counseling

1965 – anxious to ‘develop’ so can purchase the first bra (desperately need a support system)

1972 – Took twelve English / Literature courses in senior year of high school; counseling offered

1970’s – Married; gave birth to three children; gained much material for future use; sought counseling (need a good support system and need it NOW!)

1973 – Breast size increased from 34b to 42DD during 1st pregnancy. The doctor orders me into a breast binder. (I thought torture went out with the Middle Ages. See 1965 – ‘be careful what you wish for’)

1970’s – 1980’s – Siblings married; more relatives = more material for stories; suggested some of them seek counseling

1980’s – seek employment with pay and benefits to support my many addictions/obsessions & neuroses

1990’s – Exploding underwire bra phase begins (my support system begins to fail)

1992 – Diagnosed with lupus; choice of giving in or using humor to survive; I’m still here

1992 – Best friend went to a treatment center; desperately needed the humor to keep her spirits up; sent stories of sock eating vacuum cleaners, petrified pets, long-lost vegetables; friend survived – writing now a part of everyday life

1993 – Took first courses in creative writing; invited by the teacher to be Treasurer of local writing group due to my skills in this area (Note: not invited to write with or for the group)

1995 – Was nicknamed Lucy after Lucy Van Pelt (the nickel therapist) from Charles Schultz’ Peanuts character

1995 – Began writing seriously – OOPS!! Began writing humor on a regular basis

1996 – Developed strange obsession with getting up at 6 a.m. every other Saturday to visit with nail technician and get pedicure and manicure (OH, the price of beauty is high; see 1980 and reference to obsessions/addictions)

2002 – Bras still causing problems – now with the heightened security at airports (more trouble with the support system)

2003 – Told by eminent Physician that all of my problems could be cured by losing weight and purchasing a new bra (suggested he and his staff seek counseling)

2003 – Joined the local Footprints group to write my life story as a legacy for my children(that’s all they’ll get; I spent their inheritance on counseling and bras)

2005 – I found out by taking Turkish lessons that I don’t translate well and am incomplete and dead (being dead has its advantages – no more counseling or bras)

2008 – Bras are still a very big part of my life. I now own approximately 3 more than the ages of my children combined. None of them are sexy. None of them are from Victoria’s Secrets. And none of them fit. I have begun taking Arabic lessons so I can communicate with my Egyptian friends – though I’m not sure how that will help with the current bra situation.

2010 – Attended the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop in Dayton, Ohio. Found out I am not

alone in my insanity. There are other women (and one man) out there with purse and shoe fetishes, ill-fitting bras, and bizarre looks on life.

2011 – Still seeking perfect pain relief. Yes, the margaritas help, but I’m looking for long term relief without the long term effects. (I love you Jose, but I’m looking for someone or something new.).

Wanda M. Argersinger
wanda@wandaargersinger.com

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WHAT CAN I DO

Author

 

Humorist

 

Health Educator

 

Inspirational Speaker

 

Inspiration From My Mind

Where are the letters that form the words? And the stories we have to tell? Where are the ideas, good and bad? That we need to cast our spells? Where is the ink, that flows through our pens? The characters typed on the screen? How do we translate the ideas we have? Both the unseen and the seen? Do we try to tap into our brains To unlock the resources there? Do we look at the outside world Or pull stories out of the air? Is fiction really nothing but lies We create from our imagination? Or could it be the ramblings of a writer Who suffers from worry and agitation? And what about this non-fiction stuff Could it all really be true? Fantastical things and strange happenings On the pages in front of you? The stories, the words, and every line That a writer commits as a part Of his books or his stories, or his poetry Comes from somewhere deep in his heart.

Other than the stories about my life, my family, my co-workers, the various medical practitioners I deal with daily, I rarely talk or write about me. Well, okay, I write and talk about me all the time, but not the medical aspect of me. Well, maybe the insane and confused part of me. But not the lupus part of me.Okay, I did write that one tell all book about my life with lupus, but that’s it. I swear.
This is not that book. It’s not about the diagnosis, the nitty gritty, or even my fantastic medical team. This is about my day in, day out life with lupus.
I’ve never been extremely curious about what’s coming next. I don’t peek in packages, and surprises are never a really big deal, until it comes to lupus. Because of lupus I never know what any given day is going to be like, and I don’t mean what’s going to happen during the day, I mean if I will even get to experience the day. Before my diagnosis (BMD) I planned on waking thirty minutes early everyday so I could take an OTC pain reliever so I could get out of bed. I don’t plan that anymore – I count on it. I know without a doubt that when tomorrow comes, there will be pain.
BMD, I was never sure if I would need a nap, two naps, or an entire day on the couch for resting and being pissed at what I was not able to do. Today. In 2019, I am sure I will need at least one nap that I will not get today.
BMD, I was lucky to work one job without being fired, replaced, dismissed, or discounted. Today I don’t count, don’t want to count, and pack more into one day than a person who lives without lupus. Okay. I admit that might not be every single day, but damn near.
I work, I volunteer, I write, I read prolifically, and I teach at the local college, and I’m learning to draw and illustrate my own books. I also crochet, kill small trees, grow flowers, and will attempt the feat of growing vegetables in my yard. That’s quite an impressive list for someone who has lupus and at least four other chronic illnesses.
I’m not exactly sure where I was going with this story, article, piece of writing, but I like it that way. That’s how I live my life. I don’t give up, despite lupus, gastroparesis, arthritis, diabetes (insulin dependant), fibromyalgia, raynauds, and osteopenia. Most of the time those are simply words attached to me because of abnormal results on a test. I don’t live by those words, I live in spite of them. I don’t list these illnesses, syndromes, diseases, or whatever you call them so others will pat me on the back for not giving up. I do all these things to give you hope. To boost your spirit. To prove that even when dealt a tough deal, I am still in control. Perhaps not every day. Perhaps not even some days. But all in all, it’s still a fine life.


MY BOOKS

  • All
  • My Books
  • Y-Mee's ABC Book Of Emotions
    Y-Mee's ABC Book Of Emotions
  • Lupus Lies and Lipstick
    Lupus Lies and Lipstick
  • Beach Outlaw
    Beach Outlaw
  • The Education of Joe Willy
    The Education of Joe Willy
  • Kin We're Not Related To: As Told by Mabel and MayBelle
    Kin We're Not Related To: As Told by Mabel and MayBelle
  • Bare Elements - Stories of Women of the South
    Bare Elements - Stories of Women of the South
  • EB and The Women Of The Bird
    EB and The Women Of The Bird

CONTACT

  • E-mail
    wanda@wandaargersinger.com
  • Address
    Florida, USA

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