I have a cute little purse I use when I go to the chiropractor so he won’t see my real purse and give me another lecture about it. I thought mine would rival anyone’s, but you beat me with the nekkid dolls and three minute timer!
Ok, you have half a bra, one stocking, thus you can make half a trip (I wrote a story about halves). For strangers you tell them they have three minutes to leave you alone or you’ll scare the beejejus out of them with a nekkid doll and a dangerous snack bar.
When Ivan was still alive and in the wheelchair he used to joke about the fact that if he could get up off the chair and walk away, it would tip over backwards from the sheer weight of my purse, which was always hooked over the handles in the back. Sadly, now I have to carry the darn thing! No, my stooping over (just a bit) is not due to scoliosis or some other such malady!
I have the perfect remedy. Move the the far country or a deserted island where the only way you can go to town is if you pack a suitcase. And since it costs over $1000 to go to town (that’s just the going part) you only go once a year at best. With luck, that might break your purse of its black hole habit, or at the very least, you might find a better use for the naked dolls (like posting them around on stakes as a warning to visitors). Mmuahaha
I don’t carry a purse-yet,but I need one.I no longer need my shirt pocket for Marlboros,so I have three lists of things to do,one note pad.one gel ink pen,one cannister inhaler and a bottle of Xanax.my left pants pockets has two sets of keys.After locking the car twice with the motor and AC running I made duplicates of all my keys,except one. I have twelve keys on one ring and 13 on the other.I can’t figure out what’s missing. I also have a red coin purse with eight quarters.I assure you the quarters are not for the vending machines in the mens room. they are my emergency stash in case i’m out somewhere and need a Pepsi for resuscitation, or traveling money in case Camilla throws me out one day.
The right pocket contains a yellow coin purse for any change I acquire during the day, and a larger pill bottle with the smaller nitro bottle inside.(to keep the little bottle from slipping out ).
I didn’t mean for this to be so long,Wanda.I’m almost finished.
My back pocket contains my wallet with my dollar,plus my drivers license.
I’ve never had a nekkid baby doll in my pocket,nor lip gloss,but if I did I would choose whatever color that was that Monica made famous.
I guess that’s about enough.Anything else would be TMI.
So doggone funny, Wanda. Loved it.
My solution is to buy the smallest purse that will holdmy wallet and check book plus inhaler and a couple pens – and looks halfway good. But, somehow it manages to collect “stuff” and get heavy too. I think it has a secret stuff magnet in the bottom. Has to be the bottom, that’s where everything is. Nekkid baby dolls???????
How can you have half a bra? OK, I tried getting smaller purses but that just made me have to carry two purses. At least I’m balanced enough to walk straight. Other times I tend to list to the left. I’ve tried weighing each item but nothing seems to weight more than an ounce. I think it is the change really.
This Post Has 9 Comments
I have a cute little purse I use when I go to the chiropractor so he won’t see my real purse and give me another lecture about it. I thought mine would rival anyone’s, but you beat me with the nekkid dolls and three minute timer!
Ok, you have half a bra, one stocking, thus you can make half a trip (I wrote a story about halves). For strangers you tell them they have three minutes to leave you alone or you’ll scare the beejejus out of them with a nekkid doll and a dangerous snack bar.
When Ivan was still alive and in the wheelchair he used to joke about the fact that if he could get up off the chair and walk away, it would tip over backwards from the sheer weight of my purse, which was always hooked over the handles in the back. Sadly, now I have to carry the darn thing! No, my stooping over (just a bit) is not due to scoliosis or some other such malady!
I have the perfect remedy. Move the the far country or a deserted island where the only way you can go to town is if you pack a suitcase. And since it costs over $1000 to go to town (that’s just the going part) you only go once a year at best. With luck, that might break your purse of its black hole habit, or at the very least, you might find a better use for the naked dolls (like posting them around on stakes as a warning to visitors). Mmuahaha
I don’t carry a purse-yet,but I need one.I no longer need my shirt pocket for Marlboros,so I have three lists of things to do,one note pad.one gel ink pen,one cannister inhaler and a bottle of Xanax.my left pants pockets has two sets of keys.After locking the car twice with the motor and AC running I made duplicates of all my keys,except one. I have twelve keys on one ring and 13 on the other.I can’t figure out what’s missing. I also have a red coin purse with eight quarters.I assure you the quarters are not for the vending machines in the mens room. they are my emergency stash in case i’m out somewhere and need a Pepsi for resuscitation, or traveling money in case Camilla throws me out one day.
The right pocket contains a yellow coin purse for any change I acquire during the day, and a larger pill bottle with the smaller nitro bottle inside.(to keep the little bottle from slipping out ).
I didn’t mean for this to be so long,Wanda.I’m almost finished.
My back pocket contains my wallet with my dollar,plus my drivers license.
I’ve never had a nekkid baby doll in my pocket,nor lip gloss,but if I did I would choose whatever color that was that Monica made famous.
I guess that’s about enough.Anything else would be TMI.
I probably need a few more items
just too funny, and yes, you got me beat by quite a bit…… so don’t every say &*^% about my purses again. LOL. Love the story
So doggone funny, Wanda. Loved it.
My solution is to buy the smallest purse that will holdmy wallet and check book plus inhaler and a couple pens – and looks halfway good. But, somehow it manages to collect “stuff” and get heavy too. I think it has a secret stuff magnet in the bottom. Has to be the bottom, that’s where everything is. Nekkid baby dolls???????
Haha! Sometimes my purse is so heavy I ask my hubby to carry it. But half a bra is just not supportive enough for this gal!
How can you have half a bra? OK, I tried getting smaller purses but that just made me have to carry two purses. At least I’m balanced enough to walk straight. Other times I tend to list to the left. I’ve tried weighing each item but nothing seems to weight more than an ounce. I think it is the change really.