While pondering what to write in my post today, and after reading about the most successful blogs ever, it would appear that to have a really successful blog on the internet, the writer, who in this case is me, is required to be blatantly honest about whatever they write. I want to state here and now that there is truth in everything I write. Probably more truth than most people can believe. Any more honesty on my part might just send some people over the edge. Personally, I don’t want to be responsible for that, but a writer must do what a writer must do. So in that light, I am going to be just a little more honest and truthful in today’s post. Hang on to your hat, fasten your seat belt, or do whatever you have to do to keep from going over the edge. It’s going to be a truthful ride today.
On some particular day in November of last year, when I was dressing in front of my full length I caught a good glimpse of my body. Ohhhhh, it was a frightful sight. Now I have had weight problems off and on in my life, but the last time I had to look at my body at this size was when I was on massive daily doses of steroids. I decided enough is enough. I have to go back on the dreaded ‘D’ word. When I got to work, I told my assistant that I could no longer tolerate looking at myself so I was going to do something about it. She immediately jumped on the diet train with me. I needed to lose about 50 or so pounds, and my assistant wanted to lose at least that. We decided we would do this together. We set about stocking the office with the appropriate tasteless cardboard food. We removed any and all Coke products, chocolate, potato chips, and all other foods with taste. We researched ways to track what we ate. We bought the needed diet train books. We began the transformative process. We checked with each other 2 and 3 times a day to see how many carbs we had eaten, how many calories we had consumed, how many calories we had managed to burn while sitting at our desks. We were on our way.
And then life came creeping into the picture. I don’t know whose life intruded first but I was the first to crave, no need, a coke to drink. I guess I was also the first to cave to all the pressure of being denied my Coca Cola. When I finally confessed my failure to my assistant, she confessed to me that she had had pizza the previous night. It was the holidays, families were becoming unbearable, life was too much stress and we needed to eat. And so we did.Then came the holidays and all the good, seen only once a year food. So we ate that too. We enjoyed. We consumed. We did not exercise. We would begin the diet next year, which at that time of year seemed eons away.
Fast forward to January 7, 2009. I had an appointment with my pain management dr. I was there to discuss my pain level in the period of time since he did that marvelous injection in my back in November. When he was assured that I was indeed free of the back pain, he mentioned that I should begin the other dreaded word, that being the “E” word. I assured him that I had already begun and would continue on this path towards health and a brand new me. It was true what I said. I had begun, once again, to exercise with Gilad on FitTv every evening. I was evening riding the bike, outside with my grandson. Well I was riding with him once a week. I had even contemplated walking, which must count for something. And I was being careful what I put in my mouth.
That evening I had the discussion with my assistant, once again, about the dreaded “E” and “D” words. So, on to the cold hard truth and honesty. Today is day three of my “E” “D” world. I figured if I was going to know the progress I was making I needed a starting point, so I did the last of the dreaded words, I “weighed”. OMG. No fricking way! I can’t possible weigh that much. Since I began the process back in November I have managed to gain 8 pounds. On a 5’2″ frame, that’s is a lot. But for all who read this blog to know where I am, and eventually where I am when the process is complete, and even for those who want to know as I progress or digress, here they are.
The bare facts:
I now weigh 2 pounds less than the maximum weight of my lifetime
I now weigh 2/3 of what the average elephant weighs at birth
I now weigh 52 lbs. more than I did the last time I went on a weight loss program and actually lost weight
I now need to lose the equivalent of 67 pints of water (in weight) to be at my ideal weight
I now need to lose the equivalent of 6.09 gallons (in weight) of maple syrup to be at my ideal weight
I now need to lose 21 lbs. less than the average person needs in oxygen each day
I now need to lose the equivalent of 306.29 Hershey Chocolate Bars to be at my ideal weight
I now need to lose 16.75 half gallons of Blue Bell ice cream
Stay tuned for updates on my amazing transformation. I have no doubt that it will happen. I just hope it means a smaller me when the transformation is complete. I would hate to weigh what the average elephant weighs at birth.