If you get annoying e-mails from someone you can’t block, can’t put on the ignore list, and can’t kill, do you ignore them or would you send them an army of camel fleas to infest their armpits? Yeah, me too.
For the past couple of months I have been receiving more than Florida’s fair share of annoying e-mails and they aren’t infesting my only my main e-mail account. The peckerwood(s) behind this subversive plot is/are sending them to at least three of my seven e-mail accounts. The messages advertise things I can’t afford, help for body parts I don’t personally own but may or may not have access to, vacations I would never take, clothes suited for a person who makes their living $1 tip at a time, and other various and assorted items/products/get-aways/etc.
As of yet, I have not found a way to stop these e-mails.
A sane person would think that I know how much money I have in the bank and understand, without any doubt, that I can’t afford most of the things I am trying to sell to myself?
In my waking moments I would never wear the clothes seen in these e-mails. Perhaps I have a different life while asleep, though I did give up Ambien and the night effects of sleeping nude on the couch with the front door wide open, so the second life is in doubt. Besides, I am almost certain that at least one of my friend’s husbands would have mentioned they saw me on stage if I did have a night life.
As for enhancing body parts and having orgasms faster, stronger, and all night long. First, I would have to possess the proposed body parts and have them enhanced if I were to accomplish all of this. If I purchased this product and the clothes (see above paragraph) the night wouldn’t be long enough.
I personally, while awake and mostly sober, prefer to choose the destination of my vacation. I don’t like to hide from terrorists, risk death by untreatable diseases, negotiate with drug lords about my freedom, pay-off marauding monkeys, or eat foods that only Andrew Zimmern would enjoy. I like to vacation when I vacation and where I want to vacation.
I have a sneaking suspicion that there is some cyber sleuth that has noticed that I often e-mail myself with important information that I might need. I have me set up as a recipient so when I need to send to me I simply type me in the address line. It’s a lot easier than typing my entire e-mail address. They probably think if it’s from me to me the real me will think it’s important and read it.
Me is not that stupid. I aren’t either. Well, most of the time I’m not.
I getting pretty tired of me annoying myself and some days I would like to shoot me. I’m not sure that would resolve the problem, but then again, I’m not sure it wouldn’t.
I don’t believe I will ever resolve this issue or find a way to stop me from sending e-mails to me so my best hope is that the me behind this is getting a big fat commission check. Perhaps then I can afford the vacation this me would enjoy.
From the life and mind of Wanda M. Argersinger
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