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Living In the Land of Confusion Helps When You Are Confused

If you receive something and are clueless as to what it is or what to do with it, do you throw it away or create your own uses? Yeah, me too.

I had to buy new reading glasses last week.

My other pair broke and I was shamed at work for Erkeling them up with transparent (not so) tape.

I don’t buy my readers from the glasses store, but get them at the dollar store, drug store, roadside vendor, or my co-worker’s desk.

One must take opportunities when they are presented.

I purchased purple polka-dot glasses. They came with a purple polka-dot case. I try to remain somewhat coordinated in all things except balance and my life.glasses cord

Don’t ask.

As a bonus I got this great string, with a purple flowered open cut square on it.

Right.

Before I removed the string and square and saw what it wasn’t, I thought it was an old fashioned glasses chain to keep me from losing or misplacing my glasses. That would have been a great idea and freebie.

Wrong.

After seeing the square I thought it was a ‘fashion backward’ necklace.

I currently own fashion forward jewelry.

Tons of it.

With real jewels.

In gold, platinum, and sterling silver.

I wouldn’t wear a purple, cut-out plastic square with flowers and sparkles on it.

What would be the point?

I’ve pondered on this for quite some time and have come to the conclusion I need to consult with others to figure out what this sparkly plastic square might be.

Friend number one, who requested to remain nameless, said it’s a nipple frame.

Friend number two, also nameless and a failure in geometry, believes it is an archaic geometry tool.

CeeCee, the only friend with a name, said it’s a measuring device to see what size plate is needed in the mammogram machine. I think her thoughts run along the lines of what friend number one said.

Acquaintance number one said she hasn’t a clue and doesn’t want to know.

Sister number three said it’s used to measure okra and if the okra doesn’t fit then the okra isn’t fit – to be eaten.

Co-worker number seven said it’s a popcorn target. If you can get it through the target you should be able to get it into your mouth.

Clay said something about horses but I didn’t pay attention.

Aunt Maybelline said it’s half of a pair of earrings and if I find the other one could she have them, puhlease.

Jody said it’s ugly and she didn’t really care.

I’m so confused right now I’m going with Jody’s answer. I only hope I didn’t pay extra for the stupid thing.

 

From the life and mind of Wanda M. Argersinger

© 2015 All Rights Reserved

www.wandaargersinger.com

About Wanda Argersinger

7 comments

  1. Thanks for the early morning laughs, Wanda! Hilarious, as usual!

  2. Thanks for the early morning laughs, Wanda! Hilarious, as usual!

  3. Good thing I can count to 40 or the spam filter would have gotten me for sure.
    I was gonna suggest you buy several pair of reading glasses from Dollar Tree, one in every frame color and folks will think you are a movie star.
    Ms Hudson always sends me in to get hers, so I natural pick shiny frames that look expensive.
    I do have to bitch at them about running out of my mint chocolate hard candy.

    Jay

  4. I don’t have a clue but now I’m curious!

  5. Funny, but all out of focus. That’s the extent of my humor. I need lessons from you. I have never ever heard the term “erkeling” before, but I promise I will find a way to use it today.

    Anita

  6. Funny, but all out of focus. That’s the extent of my humor. I need lessons from you. I have never ever heard the term “erkeling” before, but I promise I will find a way to use it today.

    Anita

  7. I’m clueless, too. Unless it’s intended as a holder, kinda like tucking your glasses in the neck of your t-shirt, only you put the arm if the glasses through the square, and wear the string as a necklace???

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