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From Hello to Sex In Eight Words Or Less

Geroge Carlin was famous for his “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.”

I get propositions in eight words or less.

I’d rather hear every one of Geroge’s seven.

The proposition scenario goes like this.
Crazed internet sex fiend: Hi.
Me: Hi.
Crazed internet sex fiend: Your age?
Me: 103
Crazed internet sex fiend (ignoring my reply): You married?
Me: To a fig tree
Crazed internet sex fiend (ignoring my reply): You have cam?

Count his words. There were eight of them exactly. Eight. One more than George’s famous seven.

The conversation spirals down quickly. The crazed internet sex fiend has used every one of the English words he knows.

That’s not exactly true. He knows two more. “Ohhhhh” which I don’t think you can technically count as a word and “yes” which he uses strung together as in “yes, yes yessssssssssssssss.”

Knowing only ten words in English, you can insert whatever word you want for my answers. It never matters. The conversation follows the same path.

Any age from 18 to 479 is acceptable. I think the only requirements are that you are breathing and can use a computer.

If you answer no to the cam question, he invites you to watch his little sexcapade. If you answer yes, he invites you to join in – you watch him and he will watch you. Either way you get an invite to view his cam.

Oh what fun.

Hold me back now.

I can’t stop myself.

He is the man of my dreams!

Does this just happen to me?

Is it because I am willing to talk to people from other countries?

Or am I the only one crazy enough to tell the truth here, on the internet, in black and white?

I’m a curious person by nature, and love to know about other countries and cultures.

My curiosity stops at the cam.

I wish I knew how these guys find me, and what makes them pick me.

Why would anyone want to talk to a woman who is 107 and named Myrtle Lee?

Does that sound like a sex starved woman to you? Yeah, me too.

But I guess only knowing ten words in any given language doesn’t leave you much room for discerning “young” from “old”, or “sex starved” from “can’t remember sex.”

With a good brush off line, most of them will disappear back to whatever hole they crawled out of. Some are more persistent and require a laugh to make them disappear.

Laughing at them ticks them off. Laughing makes them so mad they begin to swear. I’ve heard all of George’s words in 47 different languages. Or should I say, I’ve read them in 47 different languages?

I like George’s version better.

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2010 All Rights Reserved

About Wanda Argersinger


  1. Hooray, Wanda! Thanks for saying it in such a funny way.
    I had a similar experience last year. This Romanian guy (my son’s age) supposedly lived in Miami and declared his undying love for me in about the third email. I told him that he didn’t know me well enough to love me and refused to say I loved him about four times before he was suddenly reassigned to some place in Africa.

  2. As a 3D virtual world content developer, I occasionally appear as a charming Australian Gray cockatiel. Helps my creativity when slathering woody textures on dimensional planes or applying shine and glow to an otherwise boring submarine. The Proposition?

    “Hi U r hot Wanna do de sexe?

    “Tweet it, Buster! Touch one feather and ‘pecker’ will have a whole new meaning in your life!”

    Honestly, it’s enough to make a nice girl molt!

  3. Sheesh! I am not getting these types of props at all! And I could use the laughs. Hey, at least you got an awesome post out of it.

  4. Hahahaahah! Molly, I think your brain is working in 5D virtual world all the time.
    I just don’t see how you do it. Maybe I am molded instead of molted.Thanks for the laugh,Dears. Love you ladies! Jay

  5. That’s great Wanda. It’s kinda nice knowing I’m not the only person who gets these kinds of advances from the ether. I got one on Facebook chat no less. Boy, was that a fast unfriend.

  6. Ok, who told “them” I’m 67 with a 5 yr old and a 9 yr old? No props for me. Nothing like the truth to keep my internet mail clean. Wanda, you are too funny!

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