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Florida Visitation Rules

I tried to do away with rules when my sons left home, hence the spoiling of grandchildren.
But with Jody’s visit looming on the horizon I find things wandering through my mind at 2 a.m. and 3 a.m. and midnight.

Things that sound something like rules:

1) You may think you are on the wrong street. You aren’t. On your journey down to the end of the dead end road you will indeed pass mobile homes, Habitat Homes, wanna be artists homes, Bohemian Homes, and homes hidden entirely by bushes. I’m just past these on the right with the fence.

2) We swim in the pool not at the beach. There are sharks in the gulf and old sharks lying in wait on the beach.

3) Each person is responsible for picking themselves up. We might be friends but I have a bad back and will continue to make this claim as long as necessary.

4) What can’t be hidden by a swim suit or stretch pants will forever remain a secret (this includes you EB).

5) If you don’t like the food you are welcome to call for pizza delivery, raid the pantry, head to Whataburger or McDonalds as long as you take me with you.

6) Pictures will only be taken after full makeup has been applied and we look gorgeous or 2 bottles of wine have been consumed and we don’t give a damn.

7) If you are an early riser or late nighter just remember to hide the evidence.

8) If the winds begin to blow off the coast of Africa indicating the slightest possibility of an impending hurricane anywhere in the Atlantic, make a trip to the local liquor store. The keys are on the table.

9) Don’t worry about bringing anything other than you and some clothes. I’m sure I have everything else – somewhere.

10) Plan on having fun, dammit. Coz if it don’t happen we have another bottle and wifi.

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2011 All Rights Reserved

About Wanda Argersinger


  1. I prefer a white dry wine please. Those are rules I can live with.

  2. Sounds delightful to me. Course the directions to my home are slightly more complicated. The IRS might have trouble finding me. haha

  3. I especially like No. 3 and No. 6–and I don’t even drink! LOL

  4. Love ’em! If my Mama had rules like that, I’d prolly still be living at home! (j/k…we get along MUCH better when we’re not in the same house)
    I envy you guys getting to meet up and hang out! But hey when/if I do ever make it down there for a visit, I love Moscato!

  5. Love the rules.
    Love the rules. Am I repeating myself? That’s ok, ok, look in in your archives. 10 DAYS, 8 hrs. 14 minutes till I’m there! Waahoo!

  6. If Ya’ll got Pepsi in Florida I’m on my way.

  7. Love the no-rule rules. I’ll stop by the liquor store en route.

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