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Pardon Me But You Have The Wrong E-mail Address

If you are offered something free, would you accept? What if it does not apply to your life and you have absolutely no use for it? Would you still accept it? Yeah, me too.

I am signed up for a program called GiveAway of the Day. I blame my membership on Marti, or Cathy, or one of those friends who knows everything.

Every day I dutifully read about the gift of the day. I even like some of them and think how useful they could be so I keep the e-mail in my inbox so when I get home I can download this useful piece of free software.

I haven’t actually remembered to download any of them yet, but don’t good intentions count for something?
This morning when I opened the GiveAway of the Day e-mail, I was excited when I read Advanced Woman Calendar. I could use a calendar geared toward a woman’s busy life. Then I saw the dash and read -create your personal fertility calendar!

You have got to be kidding. Someone has spent untold amounts of time on this software. And now they are giving it away for free in hopes “woman” uses it and spreads the word so all their woman friends will rush out to purchase it.

Let me tell you the flaws I see beyond the obvious uses:
From the programs own propaganda:
1) It says it allows you to keep notes – and this is the only place note keeping is allowed?

2) It also Helps conceive a boy or a girl by predicting baby gender. Fantastic. Expecting parents have been trying to do this for years. No more need for ultrasounds.

3) Supports Horoscopes and Zodiac signs because these are so important in becoming or avoiding pregnancy.

4) Can turn your desktop wallpaper into an up-to-date ovulation calendar so everyone at the office knows when you need to run home for a quickie or when to avoid you.

5) Tracks premenstrual syndrome because you are so good at hiding you bitchiness, your need for chocolate and your need to remove heads from idiots.

And they sent this to me to get for free. Great job your marketers who know everything. I haven’t been able to get pregnant or found a need to avoid getting pregnant in let’s see, 32 years. I’m sure it wouldn’t take much for you marketers to figure this out as you have been gathering data on me for at least that long and most likely much longer.

But for those of you who may want it, and want it while it’s free, head on over to http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/ and download it now.

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2012All Rights Reserved

About Wanda Argersinger


  1. Hilarious! Now we know how important those notifications really are.

  2. OMG, how funny. Put into words perfectly as always. Thank you for my morning laugh. You are the best. Love the piece, and it is so true!!!

  3. I get the giveaway of the day also. I’ve actually found a music program and a couple of cleanup programs worth the download. But, I am not really into predicting when I could get pregnant. If I could and would know when then I would schedule a press conference because I could use all the money that would come in after it is discovered a grisly old man got pregnant and a free program told him when.
    As for the bitchyness part, I do that naturally and at no regularly scheduled time.
    You bring up some salient points about giveaway programs. They seem to target the younger generation that will download everything then wonder where they get all those virus’s.

  4. I haven’t signed up for the free giveaway deal, but I periodically get them anyway. My (least) favorite, totally useless one is the constant invitation to get a free sample of Viagra. Sorry, guys, but you could save your effort. It’s about as helpful as all the ones my late husband used to get for breast enhancement! And nope, I’m not about to worry about getting pregnant either. Methinks they need a new marketing survey program. Maybe they can find a free give-away one.
    Janet Elaine Smith, multi-genre author

  5. Uummm yeah, I think I’d hit the delete key for that one. It’s been ages since I’ve had to threaten my husband with catching if I get pregnant, so this little program wouldn’t do me any good but to give him ideas again. My youngest is 29 – I certainly don’t want another one now. I’m too set in my ways. Let the grand kids come and then I get to send them back home after I’ve undone all their parents’ hard work. MMmmuuahahahaha

  6. I’m way past my “use by” date so don’t need the pregnancy assistance. My granddaughters seem to be doing fine without help so we’re all fine. Don’t need any male enhancement products either.

    Great job, Wanda.

  7. I am way past the child-bearing years as well, but unfortunately not past the laugh-so-hard-I-wet-my-pants years. Thanks for the giggles!

  8. I use to say free is better than cheap,but now I have changed my mind. Free is still better if I get to choose.

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