Home / Life In The Land of Confusion / I Am Woman – See My Zit

I Am Woman – See My Zit

If your body betrays you at every opportunity, is there really much you can do about it? Yeah, that’s what I thought too.

 

Dear Zit

You appeared a month ago while I was with friends in Dayton, Ohio at the Erma conference. One morning I awoke to find you, huge, red and swelling by the minute. Of course you were on my face and it was the final day of the conference. Thanks so much for that.

If that wasn’t bad enough you continued to grow for a couple days, just in case anyone missed seeing you. As if there were any chance of that happening.

But give me a break here. It’s been one month and still you remain. Okay, not all of you, but enough of you that prevents disguising you with makeup. Must you continue to plague me?

I just washed and moisturized my face and noticed you are still occupying space that belongs to healthy skin. Yes, I do moisturize. You seem to forget that I have not been a teenager in over 35 years. Can’t you move along and haunt them? Can’t you make their teens miserable instead of staking claim to a face that should be experiencing wrinkles and dryness instead of the likes of you?

Every time I am out in public you lead the way. Every time I meet someone new, they get to meet you first. Thanks for that.

I’ve tried everything I know of to eradicate the likes of you. Soap. Water. Antiseptic. Disinfectant. Windex. A bazooka.

You are still here.

You kill the skin that covers your existence. I know this because I peel it off on an almost daily basis. The redness and swelling are bad enough but what’s with killing the skin? Do you have some vendetta against me?

It’s Mother’s Day and I’m going to have lunch at my grandson’s church. I’m an invited guest. You are not. So, may I ask bitch, why are you tagging along?

Today you are dark and look like a sunken volcano on my chin. I didn’t have this much trouble with you kin and kinfolk when I was a teenager. Why now? Why when I’m a grandmother must I deal with you?

I sought advice from my dermatologist and have paid huge sums of money to discover your origins and why you have decided to root yourself on my skin. No amount of money or number of tests have provided a clue. Women love mystery but not from the likes of you.

So here I am, facing another special occasion and I get to spend it with you. I’m not sure where this path will lead us in the future. Each day I look to see if you are gone, but you’re still here.

Why do you linger? Are you waiting for the birth of a cousin on the other side of my face? Are you waiting for me to extend an invitation to become a permanent resident? Give it up. It’s not happening.

If you aren’t gone within the week I’m going after the big guns. Laser. Did you hear that? L-A-S-E-R. I’m a woman armed with a credit card and have a physician on standby. Move your happy little red bumpy butt or you shall feel the wrath.

Last warning.

 

From the life and mind of:

Wanda M. Argersinger

© 2012 All Rights Reserved

www.wandaargersinger.com

 

 

 

 

About Wanda Argersinger

7 comments

  1. This week I ended up with 2 zits. At 48, I still get them on occasion. What was quite humorous is that my oldest daughter, 20, also has 2 zits….in the exact same spots on her face. Like mother, like daughter, I suppose!

  2. My first comment did not submit, so I will try again. I have 2 zits this week. Yes, at 48 I still get them from time to time. The humorous thing is that my oldest daughter, 20, has two zits right now as well….in the exact same locations on her face. Like mother, like daughter, I suppose!

  3. I feel your pain and frustration! Zit, zit go away!

  4. I learned something a little while ago. A paste of cinnamon and honey is supposed to clear those little buggers right up. I haven’t had the chance to try it yet. I have more trouble with unwanted course hair at the moment, and though it seems quite a sticky idea, I really don’t think it would help me.

  5. Very neat Wanda. I don’t get them often any more, but every so often one pops up. Just not fair when you’re 50+.

  6. Thank you for the script, so I know what to say the next time one pops up on my 60+ year old face. I don’t think those suckers ever retire.They just sit under the skin biding there time until we have a big event coming up then they pop to the surface and say, “Surprise! We’re back!”

  7. Dawn@LightenUp!

    Ha, Wanda. Only you could write a letter to your zit with such hilarious success.
    Lubs ya, zitty lady. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*