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A Squeak By Any Other Garment

If it happens to you do you try to ignore it, laugh at it, or run and hide? Yeah, me too. papaya with bra..

When it happens to others it’s plain annoying. Every time they move you hear it.

Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!

With every step you want to stomp on their toes. Or grease their shoes.

It happened to me today.

But not with the shoes. I have expensive shoes and take good care of them.

But when I got out of the car this morning I heard it. That familiar annoying squeak.

I listened closely, without my ear on my feet to see where the noise was coming from.

It was a bit higher than the feet. And yet, every time I move, in any direction, up, down, left, right, there it is. A definite squeak!

I reach across my body and there it is.

I lift my arm and there it is.

I type on the keyboard, and there it is.

I move in any way including breathing, and there it is.

Yes folks, my expensive, gorgeous, uplifting bra, squeaks.

There. I have confessed.

I shall not oil it for fear of killing someone with the resulting explosion of human body parts.

I shall not wet it for fear that as it drips someone may drown.

I shall not remove it for fear of total embarrassment, not just to me but to anyone I may come in contact with today.

I will walk around squeaking proudly. I really have no other choice unless I want to install a radio or alarm or some other motion activated noise maker that might drown out the squeak that emanates from my bra.

I am thankful that I do not have any meetings today. I don’t have to see customers, or patients, or physicians. See, there is always a reason to be thankful.

I shall sit at my desk, typing and squeaking to my bras delight.

Stop by if you’re around and I will happily squeak for you. If not, be happy that you are not walking around today squeaking, unless you have squeaking shoes. Perhaps you should check BEFORE leaving the house.

From the life and mind of: Wanda M. Argersinger

© 2013 Wanda M. Argersinger

www.wandaargersinger.com

 

FYI: There is a real, actual cause for squeaking bras.

I searched around and found that the squeaking sounds is caused by the underwires rubbing with each other or with the fabric. Often a “flat” (ie two-dimensional) underwire may squeak when trying to bend around a curved torso. If the torso is very curved the underwire has to bend a lot, pulling on the fabric and squeaking in the taut tunnel. A squeaky bra is born.

– See more at: http://www.venusianglow.com/2012/01/why-is-my-bra-squeaking-reader-question.html#sthash.p2fLKOEH.dpuf

 

About Wanda Argersinger

9 comments

  1. OMG, Wanda! I’ve never heard of a squeaky bra. So funny. I hope the store gives you a full refund. Or you could save the bra to wear at boring meetings and drive the others nuts.
    Love that photo.

  2. OMG, Wanda! I’ve never heard of a squeaky bra. So funny. I hope the store gives you a full refund. Or you could save the bra to wear at boring meetings and drive the others nuts.
    Love that photo.

  3. This is hilarious….wish I had seen you yesterday.

  4. I can only say that I think the picture is really cool. Oh, and I do have a pair of squeaky shoes. Every step I take is like there is a loose floor board I’m stepping on. 🙂

  5. I can only say that I think the picture is really cool. Oh, and I do have a pair of squeaky shoes. Every step I take is like there is a loose floor board I’m stepping on. 🙂

  6. Ah . . . mystery solved!! I have also had the squeaky bra! Guess my torso was too curved.
    Wanda, you are full of useful information. And stuff.

  7. Only you!! If you have a squeaky saddle, you can dust it with talcum powder to take out the squeaks but if you did that you would be blowing smoke out your…boobs.

  8. Only you!! If you have a squeaky saddle, you can dust it with talcum powder to take out the squeaks but if you did that you would be blowing smoke out your…boobs.

  9. As always very funny. Maybe the Bra is telling you how lucky it is to be so close to you. I’m jealous!

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