You know that old saying – no use crying over spilt milk? Yeah, that one. Well try saying that at “oh my God it’s early” in the morning when you are on your way to the office, have an important meeting to attend, are running late, and an entire cup of milk spills down your front and into your shoes. I suspect what you say would be more along the lines of well (*&&^%) and !@#$%^&*, and maybe even a $%^&* or two.
That’s the way my day began today and I have to say in the past 48 minutes or so it hasn’t gotten any better. You see I work at a facility that is secure. Secure meaning you have to have a gizmo to open the gate, a gizmo and a super duper secure code to disarm the building, and enough brain power to remember the code on a daily basis. If the gizmo fails you can still get in the gate – if the power is on – you just get out of your vehicle, wedge yourself between the gate post and the gate, breathe deep, force your body against the gate, breathe even deeper and push as hard as you can. If the power is on the gate will move. If you’re lucky it will move enough for you to drive your vehicle through but then you have added grease to the milk stain on your clothes, and not cooking grease but mechanics grease.
The building, well, that’s another story. If the gizmo doesn’t work, neither do you. Maybe the key will work to open the door, if you have a key. Keys are like money at this facility, in very short supply. But if you have one, you might get in. I survived the gate and the building and made it to my desk.
Oh. I forgot. The computer gurus were doing updates yesterday. When I got to my screen it said something about some update needing to be completed. My phone was flashing with a message telling me the same thing. I chose yes and next and even continue when prompted by the computer but was halted by some message stating there is no disk in drive “G”. Please insert disk and press continue or retry or do it again Sam. I didn’t have the disk either.
Did I mention that I go to work before “oh my God it’s early?” And that our disks and cds are locked in a vault. And that I don’t have the combination to the vault. And that I can’t do anything until the update is done.
I finally found a way, by using my personal communication device, to send an e-mail to the person in charge of the computer gurus. Told him I need some disk and don’t have some disk to continue the installation. Thirty minutes or so later I received a reply informing me that some disk is on the corner of his desk. I retrieved it, completed the installation, grabbed a Coke (I desperately needed the caffeine at this point) and moved on to my next task – the bank reconciliation.
I now had all the needed paper and supplies on my desk to work on the reconciliation that had been my nemesis for the past 4 days. Reaching for the Coke, I miscalculated and promptly bathed myself on the outside including shoes with the caffeine and sticky sugar that I so needed on the inside.
Spilt milk my ass! Coke is forty times worse when it comes to ruining and staining clothes, gumming up keyboards, sticking shoes to the floor, and fouling up the wheels of rolling chairs. And as for the crying, well as far as I’m concerned, a big ole cry is exactly what’s needed right now. It would make me feel better and may even wash some of the sticky mess from me, the desk, the chair and even the floor.
From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
All Rights Reserved 2010