Don’t you just hate it when there is noise in the air that just shouldn’t be there? A mosquito buzzing. A rattle in the ceiling fan. A hum from one of your appliances. Yeah, me too.
And I would do anything to make it stop.
That’s how I have been feeling at work lately. My office has been situated in the middle of the airport runway for the past six months, at least that what it has sounded like. My computer has been making this annoying noise that sounds like an airplane getting ready to take off.
For a few months the computer only made the noise from time to time. That wasn’t too bad. I knew how to handle the occasional rattle. A little slap from my hand up side it’s case would usually bring it back to silence mode. If that didn’t work, a kick from my high heels to its front plate would make it land and stay grounded for the rest of the day.
I have been complaining to management for months about the annoying noise. But the computer is kin to my car and appliances. As soon as someone shows up to diagnose the problem they slip in to silent mode and refuse to rattle, whine, or even cough for the repairman.
Yesterday was the final straw. When I arrived at work I heard that annoying air plane getting ready for take-off. But it never took off. It sat on the tarmac, powering its engines. If that wasn’t enough to annoy me, every few minutes it would tease me with what sounded like a its engine was at full power. I was sure the computer’s death was imminent. It was a rouse.
I slapped the airplane. It threatened with another false take-off. I kicked it. It went full throttle on me. I pick it up and dropped it. It didn’t care.
All of this was happening in the wee hours of the morning, when only I am awake and at work. The powers that are in charge of the computers are still fast asleep. Or they were.
I, being armed with a Blackberry and the ability to video and audio tape airplanes in the office, did just that. I sent the video, complete with audio, to the computer powers still asleep. It was 5:45 a.m.
I didn’t get a reply.
At 6:15 a.m. I was officially losing my mind. I called the computer powers that be and ranted about the airplane in the office. How they aren’t safe to be around. How the noise would drive the employees to drink. How I am not safe to be around as long as there are airplanes in the office.
I whined. I threatened. I raised my voice. I created curse words that have never been spoken with regards to computers, at least I think that’s true. I threatened to shoot the computer which would, in effect, kill the payroll process for the week.
The computer powers that be finally got the message. They promised to take my video with audio and use it as evidence when the repairman shows up.
Sure enough a repairman came to the office shortly after noon. The airplane had left the building for lunch exactly at noon. No whining engine sounds could be heard by the repairman. The computer was pronounced fit and ready for work.
I bow to my Blackberry. The video, complete with audio surfaced as evidence to which the repairman had to acknowledge the problem. A new power supply fan was ordered and will be installed tomorrow.
When I arrived to the office this morning the airplane was back. I knew that parts had been ordered but the whine was too much for my frayed nerves. I lifted the computer, dropped it on the floor and killed the plane.
From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
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