A Hairy Problem

If you are looking for accurate information regarding a personal problem, where is the first place you go? Yeah, me too.

Thank God for the internet.

You can find just about any information you want or need and a whole lot of information you never wanted to know.

Why just today I had the need to research nasal hair problems in women. I found more information than I wanted to know, needed to know, or could stand.

For instance, I discovered that a few unlucky women experience this manly problem.
I also discovered that there ain’t shit you can do about it. Not that I need to mind you.

This problem appears most often in women during the peri-menopause phase of life. When the estrogen level of these poor women drops, the testosterone takes over and provides them with growth of hair in unwanted places and the loss of hair in other places, just like men.

Imagine waking up one day to find that now not only do you have to shave the major portion of your body, or have the hair ripped off you during waxing sessions, but you now have to shave the inside of your nose. It’s not bad enough that you have to deal with hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, and people, now you get the pleasure of nose hair.

If you can only imagine the problems this would cause when you have a cold. You continually wipe your nose to make sure there isn’t anything on the outside that should be on the inside. No matter how many times you wipe you feel that something is escaping. Upon closer inspection you find that it is a overgrowth of nasal hair. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

Marketing to a segment of the population that is miniscule according to the internet leaves women without the aid of nasal hair trimmers and/or other options. Left to their own devices and solutions has not rendered many options.

One poor woman in the UK tried to wax her nostrils. She had a friend dip a cotton swab into wax used for other personal areas. When the cotton swab was fully loaded with the wax it was unceremoniously shoved into the offending nostril, left to dry just a bit, and then removed. Well, they tried to remove it. The woman with the nasal hair problem lay on the floor. The former friend put one hand on her forehead while sitting on her upper torso. She then yanked at the cotton swab. After a few tries and some additions to the swearing dictionary, it was removed. So was most of the skin from the interior of the poor hairy woman’s nose. One more nostril to go.

According to an unnamed, non-internet source of mine, this same procedure was tried by a man and his ex-wife. The soon to be ex-wife left the cotton swab in his nose a bit too long. When everything she tried failed to remove the cotton swab and the wax, both victims were transported to the hospital via ambulance. The man had surgery on his nose to remove the non-nasal problem while the ex-wife had surgery to correct her broken nose. The ambulance crew was damn good. They never laughed one time. Well, not in front of the victims anyway.

I inquired of my esthetician what can be done about this particular problem. I don’t remember hearing her answer through her laughter. I do remember her constant stare at my nasal region while she waxed my brows.

I can tell you with absolute certainty that if I should ever fall victim to nasal hair I would jerk those suckers out so fast it would be nothing but a blur. Pain or no pain, they would be gone.
Warning: during the above procedure be aware that severe pain will be experienced and sneezing fits will ensue. Not that I speak from personal experience.

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2010 All Rights Reserved
www.wandaargersinger.com

About Wanda Argersinger

6 comments

  1. Hilarious, Wanda. So glad you are back to exploring “unusual” female phenomena. I thought I saw a couple nasal hairs last week. I convinced myelf it was an illusion and haven’t looked in a mirror since.

  2. Let me tell you about gross incident involving somebody’s nasal region. A few years back we had purchased a bottle of acetaminophen .I won’t mention the national brand. It had the tamper-proof seal intact,so it came straight from the factory. When I ripped off the aluminum seal right there on top was one of the blackest,biggest, ugliest Neanderthal hairs with the nasal booger still attached.I took it right back inside the store and got my money back.Upchuck,almost!
    ©-2010-Jay Hudson

  3. But what would non-method actors (or teenagers coming in after curfew) do to create instant tears without a nasal hair to pluck?

  4. Snort! Laugh! Sniffle!
    One more thing to look forward to. So exciting! At least you made it effin’ hilarious.

  5. Tweezing will make you cry like a baby on fire – much more dramatic than slicing an onion or cutting off an appendage. I recommend round tipped scissors. Carefully trim in a circle, making sure not to knick the interior. May the force be with you when it happens. It ain’t pretty, that’s fer sure!

  6. Oh, my, you made me laugh Wanda. And I am told I don’t laugh often enough. I feel lucky that is one of the only problems I haven’t experienced yet from my estrogen levels dropping very, very low. A couple of years ago, one of my daughters was trying to comfort me when I was crying uncontrollably for no apparent reason. While patting me on the back, she whispered, “Mom, there must medicine for this.” I can laugh now, but only with a little help of drugs.”

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