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Sunglass Saga – Part Duh!

Ooops! I made a mistake.

Not a big one.

Well, okay. Call it a major miscalculation.

Remember I recently glued my sunglasses to my face.

Well there are inherent goods and bads when you have sunglasses glued to your face.

For the good, there is no need to continually purchase sunglasses. Also, there is no need to purchase eye makeup.

But, I forgot that I wear contacts.

Ooops! Or would that be “duh”?

Uh, yeah. Don’t worry about saying it. I’ve already done that, and added a few for good measure.

I did somehow manage to change my lenses out this morning. Was pretty proud of that fact. No small accomplishment when you have sunglasses glued to your face.

Even managed to get them in the right eye. That has not always been the case which creates a huge problem since the strength of the lenses is very different.

The lens for the right eye is stronger than the one for the left. If I put the left lens in first it doesn’t really matter which eye it is supposed to go in to. I can see from my left eye even with the wrong lens in it. But put the wrong lens in the right eye and I can’t see $h!+.

But I got the lenses in the right eyes today. Then I got dressed and drove to work.

I worked just fine for a couple of hours. Yes, the left lens didn’t feel quite right, but I thought that I may have irritated it a bit taking the old lens out or putting the new lens it. There wasn’t a lot of space to work with.

Somewhere between hour 2 and hour 3 the left lens was beyond irritating. It had to come out. The reason for the irritation had to be discovered and corrected.

I grabbed my bottle of saline and headed off the ladies room.

After a few minutes of finagling I got it out.

Every time I remove a contact lens it folds upon itself resembling an omelet. It then sticks in the new form. Were it not for saline, it would remain that way until its death – in about 3 hours when it becomes like fragile glass.

Not to worry. I had saline.

I rinsed the lens. I inspected the lens. I unfolded the lens and turned it inside out from the way it was in my eye.

It looked fine.

I managed to get the inside out lens back on to my eye.

It felt a lot better.

Apparently I had been wearing the lens inside out all morning.

Imagine that. Me doing something so inept.

I do wonder why if the lens is inside out we still see things in a mostly normal way. Don’t reply to that. I know I’m not normal. But you would think a lens that is on the eye inside out would produce a distorted vision of things.

Years ago, I was told by a friend, that there is some printing of little letters or numbers on the edge of the lenses that you can only read if they are right side out.

Why would someone do that? Without my lenses and reading glasses I’m blind.

I think my life is doomed and I will be plagued from time to time with inside out lenses and a warped view of the world.

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2010 All Rights Reserved
www.wandaargersinger.com

About Wanda Argersinger

6 comments

  1. So funny, Wanda.
    I can relate. Though I had to stick to hard lenses, I did the wrong eye thing many times. Now I’m back to glasses. Bah, humbug!!
    Our warped view of the world isn’t from the lenses. We are the “normies.” It is the rest of the world that is warped. (Kinda helps get thru the day).

  2. Thanks for the warning, Wanda. I have never worn contacts, but since I’m ready to go “under the knife” to have my cataracts removed and (the dr. tells me) a new lens inserted, I will be sure to remind him not to put the new lenses in inside out. Whew! What would I do without you!
    Janet Elaine Smith, multi-genre author

  3. Oh, Wanda, I’ve played this scenario over and over about a thousand times, but could never have put it in words like you have. Thank you for the laugh today!

  4. Way back in collage I decided to try contacts. That fad didn’t last too long for me. I mean really, shoving foreign objects into your eyes is about like jumping out of a perfectly good plane, not a normal activity. They weren’t soft contacts though; I never hung in there that long. You see, I have a lot of peripheral vision and I could see the d@#! things. Yeah, I could see the outside world better, but there was this floating circle always drifting around in front of me. Really rather annoying. I have the same problem with glasses. Fortunately, I only need them when I’m driving a car.

  5. We love your inside out, flipped view of life! Just a little part of what makes Wanda, Wanda! Loved it, and am glad your funny adventures make my day brighter…
    Side note: also enjoying your short sentence structure. I like that style 🙂

  6. See here now,it all worked out. All that worrying for naught.
    I’m not going to get contacts. Don’t know how I would manage.
    I can’t figure out why I need two pairs of glasses;one to read books and newspapers with and another pair to read the computer screen with and gaze at the night sky.

    Jay

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