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In The Dark of Light

I glued my sunglasses to my face today.

Oh, not on purpose. It just sort of happened.

I seem to have a problem with sunglasses.

It hasn’t always been that way.

When I was a child I wore glasses to help me see. There were no classy sunglasses that could disguise the ugly seeing glasses beneath them. I didn’t wear sunglasses as a child.

As an adult I discovered soft contact lenses.

Seeing glasses became a thing of the past.

Sunglasses became a necessity.

It seems the intensity of the sun was magnified by the contact lenses. If there is even a hint of light outside, I have my sunglasses on before I open the door to venture outside.

People call me Hollywood and a few other names because of my addiction to sunglasses.

I don’t care.

Sun, rain, moon, stars, solar yard lights, candles, and even artificial light are reasons to wear the sunglasses. If it’s not pitch dark outside, then I have my sunglasses on.

But I break sunglasses all the time.

I like fancy glasses that add a little class to the face. Fancy glasses are not cheap. For a person who breaks sunglasses weekly, fancy glasses are not a possibility.

This summer I bought the fancy glasses anyway. Hot pink. Large. Bold. All the women loved them. The men just looked and said, “What the hell are you wearing?”

I ignored the men.

I also broke the sunglasses. I repaired them once with super glue. They broke again.
I now wear a pair of not so fancy glasses with black lenses and a few rhinestones in a circle where the legs meet the lens. The glasses fit close to the face eliminating any sun that might try to get to sneak in and hurt eyes.

I wear them permanently. Well, I have since about 11 this morning. It’s 3 in the afternoon now.

I don’t have a fancy case for these glasses. I never needed one since I wear them all the time. When I get home and take them off, I set them on the table beside my purse.

When I get to work I take them off and set them on my desk.

I had company this weekend. I put the glasses on top of the purse and moved it. The glasses made their way down inside the purse.

I took them out this morning to put them on. The left leg was missing. It was found in the bottom of the purse.

I retrieved the missing leg, found the glue and tried to reattach it. It makes sense to me that glue should work since hospitals use it close wounds and even surgical incisions.

I was in a hurry and the glue was not drying fast enough.

I blew on the glue. It still was not drying fast enough. I waited a couple minutes. The glue was still not drying fast enough. I needed to get to work.

I finally gave up and just put the glasses on with the one leg on the right side. They appeared to fit fine and block the sun. I drove with confidence.

I arrived at work and went to take the glasses off to set them on my desk for use this afternoon.

They didn’t come off. There would be no setting them on the desk.

The glasses were firmly attached to the left side of my face beside my eye. Firmly as in permanently attached.

I could stop all this craziness with a dab of glue to the right temple. No need to buy future pairs of sunglasses. No need to purchase any more eye makeup either.

I’m just glad I like rhinestones, but I wish it had been the pink pair.

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2010 All Rights Reserved
www.wandaargersinger.com

About Wanda Argersinger

6 comments

  1. ALL superstars need sunglasses. Wear them forever!
    You nut…gluing sunglasses to your face. Funny, funny funny.

  2. Don’t they make contact lenses that are like sunglasses? If not, why not? Just a thought…
    I’d love the pink ones too!
    Janet Elaine Smith, multi-genre author

  3. Not a bad marketing idea! After all, they are using permanent eyeliner, and eyebrow paint. I’m so sorry it wasn’t the pink too. And I hope you sleep on your back! 🙂 Much luck, Wanda and FUNNY post!!

  4. hmmmmm, not touching this one!

  5. People are still talking about sticking it to “The Man” Not many folk can write so much, so well about sticking it to themselves. turn on the laff trac

  6. Wanda, How do you keep doing these things? Funny story!

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