If it wasn’t good the first time, what would make me believe it would be any better the second time around. Stupidity? Ignorance? Forgetfulness?
I’ve eaten foods I didn’t like the first time and rarely did I like them the second time. Ok – I didn’t eat cabbage as a child but love it now. But that’s because of that seven year thing where your taste buds change every 7 years. About the same length of time it takes to make a new you by replacing dead cells. I’ve visited places and disliked them so much I never went back. I’ve listened to speakers who bored me beyond a second chance for them. I’ve experienced kisses that lacked everything a kiss should not lack – no way there would ever be a second kiss from those lips. I’ve eaten candy when I was told that it was chocolate. It wasn’t. I didn’t eat it again and I never trusted that person again. I’ve read authors whose books lacked the normal assemblage of words and the common sense God gave a billygoat. I didn’t buy their books again, because I’m not spending my time or money for useless words that bring nothing to my life. So how is it that I found myself with a second copy of a book when I didn’t finish reading the first copy I purchased.
It was an honest mistake and a damn good marketing ploy of words that formed the title. I know it was not the author who decided on the title. The book proved she was incapable of generating interesting words, so the title had to come from some marketing guru or hired “title creator” who could choose words and then string then together in just such a way to make the title irresistible to those in need of a good read and a good laugh. Idiots like me.
The first time I purchased the book was an honest attempt to find something funny to read. I ordered it from a place called www.bookcloseouts.com. You don’t get to handle the book here. You don’t get to read the jacket. You read some short blub about the book written by God knows who. It would be fair to say whoever writes these blurbs has never read the book. But the title was a grabber. And at www.bookcloseouts.com you can buy these books for about 15% of the original cost. And no, I never considered that the discount was because the book was actually a reject and no one wants to read it. I ordered it. It was delivered. I eagerly began reading it. I made it page 27, and that was with a lot of effort and belief that with a title as good as this one had, the book had to get better. I was wrong. I know it was only page 27 that I made it to because when I saw the book and realized I now have 2 copies of the book, the cover was neatly folded and used as a bookmark, marking where I stopped reading. It was at page 27.
I recently went on a planned 6 day trip. I took 3 books and 3 magazines with me because I knew this trip would involve a lot of sitting and waiting. On Day 3 of the trip I headed out to the local book store in search of more reading material. My first stop in any bookstore or book site is the humor section. I think life is too serious and love reading about other people’s faux pas instead of my own. I purchased 5 new books. I was finished with the first book in 2 days. I picked up one of the other 4 and began to read it. It wasn’t at all familiar but it was terrible. I read. I put it down. I picked it up and read a couple more pages, and put it down. I picked it up the third time and on this attempt made it to page 7. I packed it away in my bag and didn’t look at it again until I unpacked it after arriving home. As is the case with most books, I was placing it on one of the shelves in my home and noticed a similar looking book. Very similar. Identical in fact.
The book I had purchased on my trip, the second one I tried to read, has a twin on my bookshelf. It apparently wasn’t readable the first time I bought it. It’s not any more readable the second time I purchased it. The next time I have an opportunity to donate books or begin a fire, I’m ready.