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Remote Control Drivers

NEWS ALERT:

When I drive my car I am normally in the driver’s seat – inside the car.

I have found that to be the best place to be if I want to control the vehicle, see clearly, and control the radio.

I’m not sure how the rest of you drive your cars, but I’d bet that most of you drive from the seat with that big round wheel in front of it, even if the wheel is on the wrong side of the car.

I tried a couple of times to drive from the passenger seat. It did not go well.

I’ve even tried to drive from the backseat. That elicited foul words and a slap or two when I was younger.

This holiday season we had a local auto audio shop advertising sound systems (formerly known as stereos) for cars. High end sounds systems. Sound systems that costs mega amounts of money. Installed sound systems. Sounds systems complete with remote controls.

Huh?

Remote controls?

For an auto audio?

Are you serious?

Just where do you guys think the person driving the vehicle with your super, mega, sound system is going to be that he would need a remote control?

Ohhhh, it’s for the guys in the backseat.

I don’t know about you but if someone in the backseat were to change the station on my radio while I’m driving, I’d be stopping and doing some serious ass whooping.

Backseat people can be courteous like everyone else and request a change of music.

I, being the sweet gentle southern woman that I am, can change, or tell them to go to hell or get out of the vehicle. I always like to provide them with options.

I can hear you now. You are thinking that this remote control thing is for the video screens in the car. Remember, the advertisement said audio system complete with remote, not video system.

Either way, I ask you to stop for just a minute and think about the remote control for the video device in your home.

Exactly.

It is a power tool.

It is worshipped.

It is coveted.

It is often lost.

Christmas Day at my parent’s house will normally see 30 or 40 different people coming and going at various times. My sister Roxanne spent the entire day there this past year. She was witness to the most amazing gravitational pull or magic force ever. Each person, upon entering the house and hugging and kissing those already there immediately found the “remote control” for the video device in my parent’s home and changed the viewing selection to something they preferred. They would then wander off to visit with the other 30 people there, completely ignoring those in front of the video device. The new video selection would remain until the next visitor appeared, normally about 1 to 2 minutes later. Thus it went from 9 a.m. until after I left around 4 p.m.

Transfer that scenario to your car.

A car is smaller.

There is a lot more anger in a car due to traffic, idiot drivers, texting, cell phones, weather, and other passengers.

Would you want a remote control for anything in your car?

Well, ok. A remote control for vocal volume would be nice. But only if the driver gets control of the thing.

Which brings up another point.

I would never arrive on time anywhere. I would be spending most of my normal travel time trying to locate the remote control device. The vehicle might be smaller than a home but I’m sure there are just as many, if not more, places for it to be lost, including but not limited to outside the vehicle.

The very wise(ass) people who produced this commercial thought the remote control would be a huge selling feature. I hope they were successful. I doubt they were.

Anyone who has ever driven a car or held a remote control knows the mix of these two things is like putting idiots in charge of the world.

Oh wait. That’s already been done. And look how that turned out.

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2010 All Rights Reserved
www.wandaargersinger.com

About Wanda Argersinger

6 comments

  1. My stereo in the car does have a remote. It’s always kept in one place and I use it to start the CD’s and to skip the pieces that skip. I gave up on radio, too many commercials, except for the local jazz station. As for tv, I rarely watch it. Two thousand stations and nothing on worth watching. I remember the big dea when we got the fourth station, Fox. That was a big deal, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy last century.

  2. Oh, yes. Remote controls! It seems when I have visitors at the house they want to “simply change the channel.” Invariably, it ends up with words printed (sometimes in Chinese) on the screen that I can’t get off, or the time and a synopsis of the program that I really wanted to watch (that is now blocked by the synopsis to tell me what I’m missing), etc. At least it gives me an excuse to call a cute young friend (young enough to be my son, but we have a lot of fun together) to stop and undo the damage. The last time he was there to rescue me from the remote damage someone had done he suggested that maybe I should try hiding the remote when I have guests. I thought about it, but then what excuse would I have to invite him to stop by?

    Meanwhile, we have had a car commercial on that shows someone standing outside an SUV and by use of a remote control it would parallel park–all by itself.

    Nope, these things should remain “remote”–as in way out there someplace!
    Janet Elaine Smith, multi-genre author

  3. Hilarious, Wanda! Reminds me of former husband who had a remote with scads of buttons, while I had a simpler version. One time he said, “My remote has more buttons than yours.” Without skipping a beat, I replied, “But, by buttons are larger.” He then fell into ROFLHAO!

  4. Loved it,Wanda! I don’t need a remote ,yet. We are just getting to having a car with a radio that works.
    What aggravates me is to be in the backseat and someone in the front switches the radio to the back speakers then they turn it up loud so THEY can hear it.

  5. You mean they really have remote controls for car radios…I mean sound systems?

  6. But Wanda, don’t you know? It’s a conspiracy to get us to stop talking on cell phones while driving. You know that remote is going to make it into your purse and you know it will invariably be the one you grab when your cell phone rings.

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