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A Christmas Reply (to my friend Dawn)

WTF?


What happens when you go to write a blog and realize you don’t have MS Office on your computer?


Exactly.


I used to have it but my computer began making a microphone feedback noise that was killing the owls and squirrels in my yard. I had to set everything back to factory conditions if I wanted to survive and wanted critters in my yard. This means I lost everything on the d@mn computer that wasn’t there when I bought it.


I reset the thing just before Thanksgiving. Can I help it if I haven’t had time to reinstall MS Office?


Can I help it if I can’t find the CD’s to MS Office?


Can I help it if I’m 4 days before Christmas, have no Christmas blog, just spent my last $100, just read Dawn Weber’s wonderful Chirstmas poem, and find myself fighting the Christmas spirit?


Can I help it if I’m hopeless?


I just left Wal-Mart and came home to find this mess.


I haven’t time.


I haven’t ideas.


I haven’t anything.


Well, that’s not exactly true.


I felt a little bit of Christmas spirit about an hour ago.


I tried to ignore it.


It wouldn’t go away.


So I did a good deed.


It still wouldn’t go away.So I went shopping, spent all my money on other people which only made the spirit grow.


I’m trying to be a Scrooge. It’s not working.


So, Dawn Weber, here is my reply to your Witch-Mas, full of Christmas (hic) spirits.

I’ve wrapped all the presents
I’ve bought the dead  beast
I have everything ready
For a wonderful feast

The decorations are up
The lights are all lit
I rush madly about
Just wishing to sit

I’ve forgotten the batteries
The stocking stuffers and bows
I’m just plain worn out
From my head to my toes

I’ve forgotten more things
Than were on any list
I’m quite the mess
And easily pissed

But while making a present
A surprise met my eyes
Charles Kuralt’s Christmas
What a wonderful surprise

I took the thing with me
On my errands today
And on the way home
I let the thing play

He told of ordinary humans
Doing wondrous things
 Giving from the heart
Where all good deeds spring

They helped and they gave
To  so many in need
They kept nothing themselves
And kept quiet their deeds

Their stories and his voice
Touched something inside me
I did a good deed
Which really surprised me

For most of my years
I’ve grumbled about
Not wishing anyone merry
Curse words in my shout

But this year will be different
I’m fully prepared
There’s been a change deep inside
A bottle of wine lingers there

With spirits inside
And spirits about
I wish you all Merry Christmas
Bring your wine to my house

We’ll party and eat
And wrap presents to open
From December 25th
To the dawn of 0-11

I’m a changed person I swear
I have spirit inside
And thus I will stay
Til into the New Year I slide

So I wish to you all
A Merry Chrimas and stuff
Excuse the bad writing
It’s off of the cuff

May you all be filled with the Holiday spirit(s)

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2010 All Rights Reserved
www.wandaargersinger.com

About Wanda Argersinger

9 comments

  1. Hahahahahahahahaha-to infinity! “A bottle of wine lingers there.” One of the best lines EVER!!!! I bow to you, my Wanda-Grinchy (Wrinch?) friend. This is flippin’ awesome. I will share!!!

  2. Great Christmas poem, Joanie

  3. Loved the poem. And the lead in. I’m heading out to the wine store right now. See you in a bit. 🙂

  4. Great post. I agree with the bottle of wine line. I just read this post out loud to my other half and that poem rings well. We both loved it.

  5. Jumping Wanda Je’Sus Lopez!I couldn’t help myself either,Wanda.I try to be a Scrooge,and most years I succeed,but today i n a moment of weakness I caved in and bought another stockpot for cooking, or plumbing,whichever need comes first.
    I don’t know anything about any of the MS stuff except most of it seems to be troublesome junk. I have managed to learn how to use Notepad and Wordpad,thanks to your previous advice.
    Loved your poem.
    Jay

  6. The poem is lovely, and I stand 4-square behind the need for a bottle of wine. I have a friend (?) here who calls me and after while she realizes that she has spent most of the call whining. I frequently suggest that she try some “wine” instead of the “whine” and if she’s successful at that I’ll bring her some cheese to go with the wine.
    Hope you get your machine back in working order. I love modern technology–when it’s working right. And on those other days–well, it’s almost Christmas and I don’t want Santa to think I’m being bad.
    Janet Elaine Smith, multi-genre author

  7. Hey how can u not invite me over

  8. Delightful – merry Christmas to you too. And a Happy New Year to you too. 😉

  9. I hope you had a great Christmas! And yes, the wine is still flowing here!

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