My friend Alex, who runs a small printing business, received this e-mail yesterday from one of his customers who has an outstanding balance on his account.
From: office@drImInCharge [mailto:office@drImInCharge]
Sent: Tuesday, January 11, 2011 9:48 PM
To: Alex Duncan
Subject: Re: PAST DUE ??
What is the balance on my account. By the way, I have not been satisfied with the appearance of your water lately. There was a bottle of water that turned green apparently tainted by algae. Then I have noticed that there are foreign bodies in some of the bottles. Personally, I have ceased drinking your water and encouraged my family to do the same. Let’s settle up so that we can part ways because of my dissatisfaction. I have been meaning to address this problem with you but am now taking the time.
I think Alex’s reply was right on point. I’m not sure, however, that this bill will ever be paid.
Dear Dr. ImInCharge
I supply printing services to you, not water. While I do appreciate your concern over my water, and the latest sample that was supplied by me, to your office, it was never meant to be consumed. Algae and foreign bodies in my urine? You’ve got to be kidding? How could that happen? What can be done about it? Do I need to see a water purification specialist to remedy this problem? Perhaps installation of a filtration system would help? Any guidance from you regarding this matter would be greatly appreciated. I am even willing to come for another office visit if you feel that is justified.
In the meantime, I suggest no one drink anymore of the water supplied by me. Perhaps you should have your staff clearly label drinking water from other “samples” left at your office.
As for your balance, you currently owe $300. If you can arrange to have this paid this month, we can part ways, or continue our professional relationship, but only if you promise to stop drinking my water.
Alex Duncan (patient and printer)
Okay. Perhaps Alex has been hanging around me too long. But you have to admit, it would be difficult to resist responding in such a wicked manner to an obviously misdirected e-mail. It did create quite some laughter in Alex’s office for the entire day.
P.S. The e-mail from the doctor is real. Names were changed to protect the stupid. I don’t have access to the reply sent by Alex. After I laughed at the first e-mail and began making references to tainted urine, algae and foreigners he laughed until, well, let’s just say he was unable to provide a urine sample for a while.
From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
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