If you had too much time on your hands, what would you do? Work for World Peace? Help build a house for Habitat for Humanity? Rescue abandoned pets? Work in the Community Gardens? Try to locate the owner of the lost Pink Cow? That was not a typo.
I am on Facebook. I like to keep up with my friends and family and Facebook is a wonderful place to do that. But I keep getting notices about pink cows, ugly ducklings, black sheep, mafia hits, pads being pimped, awards being won, help needed, and a million other things/requests/notices and blatant advertising that some people obviously have too much time on their hands.
I don’t sleep much, really I don’t. On a good night I might get five hours of sleep. On a bad night I think I end up in the minus category. Friends and co-workers hear this and are amazed. But it’s not my fault, it’s my mind. There is always something going on in there. Ideas of things to be created, stories to be written, things to be said. I really don’t have enough time to sleep and do all the other things I need/want to do. If I had just a few more hours each day……..well, don’t we all say that? I am not a person with too much time on my hands.
So far I have been able to avoid buying a farm in Farmville, Farmtown, or (Lil) Farm Life. I don’t own a bakery in Yoville or a pad that I have to pimp. I have not committed any acts of violence or anything else that would get me locked up or lose my life. I have not found or tended to any animals in Paradise. I haven’t done any of these things because I don’t have any extra time on my hands. If I did I might clean out the closet at home that houses bank statements from 1972 forward. I might actually sit down and write the forty-seven books that are rattling around in my head. I might dust all the things that need dusting and actually paint the bathroom with the paint that has been sitting in there for the past two years. But I don’t because I can’t find the time.
I don’t care that in Farmtown, Farmville and all the other farming areas I can farm without actually getting dirt on my hands, and y’all know that’s a must for me. I don’t do dirt. I don’t care how many threats or offers of bribery that come my way to entice me join the Mafia Wars. I don’t have any extra time on my hands. If I did I might take my own guns out for target practice, that is, if I could find my guns. I think they are in that same closet as the bank statements. At least that’s where I think they are.
I am not going to spend my time pimping some pad in Yoville when my own pad is in such need of attention, let alone pimping. I am not going to bake in Yoville when I don’t bake at my own home. Well, I may bake during the holidays, but nothing will be for sale. I am not going to tend to animals, including pink cows, black sheep and ugly ducklings. I have no animals at my own home, therefore I have no animal by-products. I like it that way. I don’t have any extra time to spend with them anyway, whether it be walking them, milking them, or finding their real owners. I don’t have extra time to post signs for help. I don’t have extra time period.
But everyday I read about all of my friends who do have this extra time. Some have created huge farms, successfully selling their products and purchasing more acreage to grow more things that need tending to. Some of my friends are successful bakers and spend their money pimping their pads with luxury. Some of my friends can now offer huge sums of money for hits on the Mafia. And here I sit with no farm, no pad, no money for Mafia hits and no extra time on my hands.
(No apologies to all my friends involved in these activities. I find humor everywhere, this time it just happens to be in Farmville, Yoville, and with the Mafia. I love you all dearly.)
Wanda M. Argersinger
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