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Do you have a Platinum Husband? Would you want someone that caring, concerned and loving? Maybe.

Platinum Husband

Have you seen him? That perfect husband on the commercial for Chase Platinum? You know the one who sees his wife in the gorgeous, form fitting, “come have sex with me” dress and gives her an approving smile. The one who stands, walks toward her and says we should use the points on the platinum card to get away. Take a vacation. Go anywhere we want. In a boat. On a plane. To a deserted island. The whole time he is talking she is saying, but we can’t. He assures her that they can. They can use the points for anything.

It is then and only then that she says, yeah, I know. She steps back and indicates the dress. He takes her in his arms, smiles that smile and the commercial is gone.

I want that husband. Or if not him, I want to know how to have his understanding ways and personality implanted into another man.

Same scenario in my home would go something like this.

Me stepping out in my blue dress: “Honey, do you like my new dress?”

Him: “Where the hell did you get that?”

Him: “How much did you spend on it?”

Me: “Don’t you like it?”

Him: “You don’t ever go anywhere to wear that. It’s just going to hang in the closet.”

Me (with my sexiest look): “Doesn’t it flatter my assets?”

Him: “Flatter? You want everyone seeing your boobs?”

Me: “Well I thought we might go somewhere together.”

Him: “Like where?”

Me: “I thought the dress would inspire you.”

Him: “Yes, it inspires me to go to work to pay for the dress.”

Me: “It didn’t cost a thing. I used the points on our Chase card to pay for it. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Him: “I was going to use them for a new shotgun. Been saving them since last year just for that purpose. Only needed 147 more points to get it.”

Me: “Hmmmmm. I see.”

Him: “You see what.”

Me: “I see I should have spent the points on something else.”

Him: “Like the shotgun for me?”

Me: “No. To buy the Chase Platinum Husband who smiles at his wife when she wears a sexy dress, and whisks her off to someplace exotic. I obviously wasted the points.”

About Wanda Argersinger

5 comments

  1. I don’t know where my comment went. I submitted it again, but it still didn’t show up. Oh, well. Here it is:

    I hate that commercial! Not only is the husband too good to be true, the wife is an inconsiderate heifer. If I wrote characters like that, no one would want to read about them–unless, of course, I was like Stephen King and frequently kill off my protagonists!

    ~Joyce Sterling Scarbrough
    “Stay true to yourself and your dreams will come true.”

    True Blue Forever
    Different Roads
    Symmetry

  2. So, what’s the problem here? 😉 My closet is two bedrooms away. One more dress is just what my wife needs. I could use a pair of new shoes. I have one black and one brown pair. I have one pair of black causals and a pair of sneakers. I don’t want a shotgun, but It’d be nice to get a square of bedroom walk-in closet space.

    Her birthday is this month. Guess what I’m giving her? LOL

  3. Mine is surely platinum!

  4. I just went and looked at my husband to see how I might best apply our points. He looked up from a preheating cast iron skillet, waggled a gorgeous 2″ bottom-round beefsteak in my face, and asked, “What is ‘braise’?” Hands down, I’m gonna go order that dress to die for — shipped overnight mail 🙂

  5. Mine is platinum. Granted, it took three marriages/divorces to find him. Still…

    Great post. Very funny.

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