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I May Be Slow, But I’ll Get There Eventually

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I May Be Slow, But I’ll Get There Eventually

What do you do when you attended the same conference as so many other hilarious writers and they post everything about it on their blog before you begin to recover? Yeah, that was my thought too.

The 2012 Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop has been over for a week now. I have watched, read and laughed from all the brilliant words attendees wrote about what they learned there. I have been amazed at how witty they are in relaying the happenings from Dayton. I am late and I am in awe. What’s left to be said without regurgitating so many wise writers?

But still I feel obligated to write about the workshop. I don’t know why I have this feeling. Call it paying a debt. Call it homage to the first – Erma. Call it BS. But being who I am I will write about it. I will take the road untraveled and enlighten you with some of the things I didn’t learn. Hang with me here, I promise you’ll laugh, perhaps cry, and completely understand my perspective by the time we’re done.

1. I did not learn how to travel to Dayton without encountering airport ninjas and having at least one body part injured before I arrived. My first trip there, in 2010, resulted in a trip to the ER. I didn’t even make it to Dayton this time. (Tears for the injured writer appropriate now.)

2. I did not learn that only other people who are much smarter and better writers than moi will always win the Erma Bombeck writer’s contest, leaving me once again – a loser relegated to the bar to drown my sorrows and laugh with the other non-winners. (I got honorable mention – shut up inner critic. I told you I could do it.)

3. I did not learn how to use GPS on a tablet computer to get around Dayton. Neither did my driver. We took the scenic route from the library back to the hotel which gave us lots of time to talk, laugh, and plot – books and stories, not plot maps.

4. I did not learn that sharing a room with someone you know mostly from the internet leads to trouble. My friend Crystal and I often stayed awake until 1 a.m. just talking. If she was uber excited, we were also up very early. She talks in her sleep, but I won’t divulge what she says.

5. I did not learn that all margaritas are good ones, especially if they are made with rum. Ooops, who made that mistake?

6. I did not learn that humor in written form is dead. On the contrary, it is more alive today than ever, and with the world the way it is, we need it more now than ever. My theory has always been, the world is a scary place, so I’m going to laugh and hope you do too, even if you are laughing at me. (Wish I had a photo of me sprawled on the tile in the Atlanta airport. I’d even share it with you on my blog. I’m just thankful I didn’t have a drink in my hands when I fell. That would probably go viral bringing me the fame I so justly deserve only for the wrong reason.)

7. I did not learn to give up. Markets are still alive, more opportunities are waiting for me to find them, and more fun and strange things can be done to bring readers to my blog. Things such as use video of yourself in your robe and bunny slippers or however you dress to write your blog. People will connect with your face (and hopefully forget the rest of you.)

8. I did not learn that the family that tries your patience should be left out of your writing. They have probably played the biggest part in your life. Why not let them play the biggest part in your writing? (Besides, pay back is the best form of revenge. Change their names and then tell all the family secrets.)

9. I did not learn that heels are the only shoes that can be worn in Dayton. I made a fashion statement in 30 degree weather by wearing my jeweled flip flops. Strange looks, certainly, but fun, absolutely.

10. I did not learn that friends from earlier conferences will forget you. The ladies of the bird table were often seen together, with and without the bird. Love you all!

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2012 All Rights Reserved

About Wanda Argersinger


  1. Loved your point of view on the workshop. And I know there is indeed a large group of ninjas at the Atlanta Airport; they tried to attack me from under the moving sidewalk a time or two.

  2. Thanks for sharing all your wisdom and experiences attained from this conference. haha I find I must share such experiences vicariously as it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever get to attend such an event. Not unless it happens in Alaska and in the winter, and I really don’t see that happening any time soon. Besides, I can just see me going through the Dayton airport at 30 degrees in a T-shirt and sweating. It’s a problem I’ve had before. Dress for the weather here at whatever below 0 and get there and find the nearest bathroom to strip down to street clothes, which leaves me with double my carry-on luggage, not to mention whatever else I brought as soon as I get to the baggage claim. I have learned one thing though. I go with very little, fully expecting to return with somewhat more.

  3. Great post, Wanda. I still haven’t figured out what I can say that is different but I still want to say it.

    @Anna, traveling from Wisconsin to points south I learned to leave my winter gear with whomever drove me to the airport, giving strict instructions to remember it when they come to pick me up.

  4. Wish I’d been there for the flip flops…and the rum margaritas. Did EB partake?

  5. Sounds like you had a lot of fun! I love your writing style – it does not surprise me that you got an honorable mention (though it would have surprised me even less if you’d won first place!)

  6. Loved this post. Perhaps a good thing that it was late, as now you are not one of many other EBWW posts! Sorry I missed your trip at the ATL airport, I would have laughed WITH you while helping you up!

  7. Dawn@LightenUp!

    Nobody rocks a pair of flip flops like my friend, Florida On A Stick!
    Love you too, lady. 🙂

  8. That was a great perspective! The conference was spectacular and I was happy for the opportunity to meet you and the rest of the bird ladies in person. See you in 2012!

    P.S. I hate the Atlanta airport and will drive rather than go through it!

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