Home / Life In The Land of Lupus / Popularity Breeds….Well, It Just Breeds

Popularity Breeds….Well, It Just Breeds

What happens when something obscure or never seen before becomes the “have to have it, be all to end all” thing on the scene? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

How many of us remember when the Cabbage Patch Dolls hit the market? Every child wanted one and no parent could find one for their children. What a horrible holiday season that was for one and all.

Parents fought with other parents over the last Cabbage Patch doll in the store. There was hair pulling, eye punching, throwing to the floor and stomping of feet. And that was the adults. The children resorted to tears, threats of never eating again, and the final blow, “I’ll just die if I don’t get one.”

Cabbage Patch kids just weren’t being born fast enough. Exorbitant prices were paid. Deals were made in back alleys. Parents were resorting to “fake” Lettuce, Kohlrabi, Radicchio, and Radish Patch kids in attempts to quiet the sobbing hoards of runny nosed mobs.

We are now seeing the same thing happen with dogs.

At first it was that loveable little dog on television enticing us to eat tacos. He was cute, but that might have been because he spoke with an accent. Then it went too far.

We began to see the same type dog being toted around in designer purses by celebrities with unknown motives, morals, and mayhem. The poor dogs were wearing more bling around their necks than most women see in a life time. Some even sport designer duds. Yes, you heard me, designer duds from the Versace of the dog world.

And if one so called celebrity has a pet, then all the celebrities have to own pets, and carry them around in designer bags.

We all know what happens next, right?

I have been looking for the last year or so for a new dog. Being the good pet person that I am I do not shop at Designer Dogs Are Us. I use the pet finding tool on the internet known as petfinder.com.

I go to the site, enter my specifications, “dog”, enter my zip code and see what’s available – 492 pages of tiny dogs perfect for advertising tacos or being carried around in designer bags.

I’ve tried zip codes from all over the country. Same thing. Page numbers vary, but it’s basically nation wide doggie duplication. Tiny dogs taking over the country.

I tried once to outsmart them. I requested a certain breed of dog that was in no way similar to the yapping little taco dogs. I found it, sort of. I didn’t actually find a pure breed, but rather a mix breed. A pint sized, mini mutt with golden hair who will fetch any parakeet decoys from the water as long as I will throw them.

The taco dogs are taking over the animal kingdom. I saw taco dogs mixed with German Shepherds. I think they protect the police from taco raiding banditos.

I saw taco dogs mixed with Shih Tzu’s. Don’t ask. I couldn’t get past the vision of a gaseous, messy, clean-up detail.

I found teeny tiny taco dogs in tea cups.

I saw Chihuassets (pronounced, Chee Wah Setts); basically hot dogs with long ears.

Cross one of these yipping little taco beasts with a mini-Dobie and you get the fiercest bone-stuffed, snarling, bit of fur on the planet. If I wanted a guard dog, this is what I would get. Not much food required. Not much crap to clean up. Faster than a kicking foot. More powerful than a herd of ants. Able to leap higher than the ankle. Scares the crap out of everyone in sight.

My Dad used to tell me that all puppies are cute but they grow up to be damn dogs. These beanie sized beasts grew up to be an entire invasion.

I don’t know when the popularity of these fertile, taco dogs began, but it seems to be never ending. Their size has spawned an entire industry of teeny tiny yapping mutant mutts. Every search for a decent dog is thwarted by these yippers. In the words of Ray Stevens, they’re everywhere. They’re everywhere.

I can only hope the next “thing” to be coveted by all and obtained by few comes in a box without air-holes, doesn’t require a million dollar collar, is crap and crapola free, and can be purchased at the local Wal-Mart.

From the life and mind of:

Wanda M. Argersinger

© 2010 All Rights Reserved

www.wandaargersinger.com

About Wanda Argersinger

4 comments

  1. I am absolutely with you! I don’t want “Teeny tiny yapping mutant mutts.” lol! (Although I do love mutts, just not designer mutts) And your dad is right…they all grow up to be damn dogs. I had no idea of this trend! Round here we just take whatever somebody else dumped off.
    Wanda, I love how you make me laugh for a half hour from just one simple idea. 🙂

  2. So funny! You clearly defined my frustration. I’ve wondered what the celebritiy would do if the wee doggy has an accident in her purse. Would she throw the purse and dog across the street? Drop the whole package in a trash can?
    I cringe every time I see a doggie stroller. If the dog isn’t big enough to walk, leave it at home.

  3. I am laughing so hard. It’s the things Wanda puts into words, that I think, but would never be able to write in such a wonderful way. I just love your stories, and will always be your #1 fan!!!

  4. You are actually looking for a dog, and dogs just seem to find us. My middle daughter had one of the Taco breeds given to her. It has more clothes than she does (the clothes came with the dog) and it reminds me of a rat. Dogs should be big enough to keep your feet warm on a cold night. If it can’t do that or fetch a newspaper, catch a ball, then get a cat.
    Funny stuff!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*