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I Don’t Do Math, But I’m Counting

If you failed miserably at something as a child, mastered it as an adult, but still carry that burden of failure, do you embrace the achievement and move on, or forever linger in the land of “I can’ts and I don’ts?” Yeah, me too.

For instance, I don’t do math.

I work as an accountant, but I don’t do math.

Most people don’t realize that accounting and math are two separate and uniquely different things. I know because I work as an accountant, yet I don’t do math.

But in the past few days I find myself counting. Not accounting, but counting.

Perhaps it’s more like subtracting than counting as I am taking numbers away instead of adding numbers together and I don’t actually say 1,2,3,4,5 and so on. That would take entirely too long for my purposes. I may not be around long enough to count as high as I need to for this endeavor.

One hundred thousand take away (that’s minus for some of you) ninety-five thousand one hundred and seventeen equals how many views I need on my blog to reach 100,000.

I know. That was a word problem and we all hate word problems. But follow along the best you can.

Recently I’ve been taking note of the statistics on my blog.

In days, weeks, and months past I only wanted to know how many people read each post. Then some new statistical counter was added to my blog that let me see how many look at it each week. How many unique visitors I have. (Don’t ask. I don’t know what makes one unique and another ordinary. ) How many visited last week, last month, and forever.

Right now forever is hovering at 95,117.

100000It might not seem like an important number, but trust me it is. Every number between it and 100,000 are important with 100,000 being the most important.

I never imagined that I, little ole me from Florida could persuade, bribe, entice, blackmail, 100,000 people from all around the world into reading what I have to say.

But I almost have.

Yesterday I noticed that I have a new reader from Kiribati. Before yesterday I didn’t even know there was a Kiribati, much less a Kiribati with people living there who want to read the words I write.

Each morning finds me checking the stats to see what my new number is the subtrahend is for the day. (Yes, I had to Google it to find the correct word.)

Each day finds me checking to find out how close I am to 100,000.

Every night finds me worrying that it could happen while I’m asleep and I would miss the big event.

What will I do when I know I’ve had 100,000 views on my blog?

I don’t know.

I don’t have plans.

I can’t plan without a date.

I can’t find the date without doing math.

I don’t do math.

From the life and mind of Wanda M. Argersinger

© 2015 All Rights Reserved


About Wanda Argersinger


  1. Put a little porn on here, Wanda. That’ll get your numbers up!
    ( sorry- I couldn’t pass that one up.)

  2. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! Love this, as usual. Thanks for the laughs!

  3. 4,883, but it’s less now because several of us non-unique visitors have read your always funny blog.

  4. I have become so obsessed with numbers I put a $ sign beside all of them.

    $8 +$five=

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