Let Me Eat Cake

It’s my birthday today.

It’s my special day.

The day made just for me.

In celebration of this auspicious day I woke up late.

I woke up way toooooooooo late.

I woke up remembering I haven’t posted an article to my blog this week. Yet.

I woke up fat.

I’ve had suspicion for a while. About the fat thing.
But come on. Fitting into the clothes in my closet is a common occurrence.

Fitting in to the clothes I purchased just yesterday, well, that just ain’t right.

My friend CeeCee and I decided last week that the fat had to go.

She is a sufferer also.

We made a plan.

We would walk together at least two nights a week. Our chosen nights – Tuesday and Thursday.

We didn’t walk Tuesday night. The weather was iffy and about 65º. If it’s under 75º CeeCee doesn’t walk. If I can find an excuse, I don’t walk.

Today is Thursday. I won’t walk tonight either.

Hey! It’s my birthday and I’m going out to dinner. That should really help the fat situation.

But back to the pants.

My supply of clothes that fit has dwindled down to three pair of pants and a pair of blue jeans that can only be worn on Friday. I needed something to wear while on this journey to my former slimness. (That’s similar to HRH in my world.)

Yesterday I purchased two new pair of pants. A beautiful brown pair and the standard black pair. I was set for a few weeks until the return of ‘her former slim self’.

Did I mention I woke up late today?

I hurried to get a shower and slip in to the beautiful brown pair of pants and blouse to be ready for dinner direct from work.

They slid on easily and even went up over the hips. That’s the equivalent of a miracle people.

They didn’t button.

Hell. They didn’t even zip.


I just purchased them yesterday.

No time to worry. Grab the black pair. Black goes with everything.

Black goes with everything except fat. They didn’t even ‘meet in the middle’.

Did I mention I woke up late?


I quickly located the one pair of pants in the closet that fit me. I put them on, fastened them then threw on the top, grabbed my things and out the door I went.

I’m still fat but now I’m without the new pants to cover my largeness.

C’est la vie.

It’s my birthday. I’ll worry about fat tomorrow.

Today I’m eating cake.

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2011 All Rights Reserved

About Wanda Argersinger


  1. Happy birthday Wanda – hope you have a blast.

  2. Happy Birthday, Wanda! Worry about the fat tomorrow. Today is party day.

  3. Happy Happier Happiest Birthday! Thank you for being my friend.

    Linda Della Donna
    “…And sometime when I wasn’t looking, I got a new life.”

  4. Happy Birthday. The scale will always be there. Have a great day.

  5. I say make that cake with ice cream in the middle and extra chocolate…heck your birthday only comes once a year and when your eating that cake make sure you spill some on the boobs, for good times sake….LOL Love ya bunches….HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  6. Happy Birthday, Wanda, and I have always believed that everything you eat on your birthday has no calories, so live it up. As for the “fat” thing–hey, “fat” isn’t even a 4-letter word! It’s not naughty!

  7. Hap hap hap e -e e- Bir Bir Birth Day Day Day to to to you you you! Can you tell I’m singing in the shower? I think your pants were mislabeled. I bought an XL shirt but didn’t try it on. When I got home, it wouldn’t even go over my arms. I checked the label again. XL. I think it’s Chinese for “Itty bitty woman need xtra limited access!

  8. Can’t go wrong with a funny, fat birthday story. Fabulous!!! Have a great one!

  9. I lost so much weight on my diet I can eat anything I want,but hold the salt.
    This morning I weighed exactly the same that I did on our wedding day,same size in the waist.
    Today I’ve had a chocolate shake,regular Pepsi,delicious meat loaf,my regular veggies,a pack of plain M&Ms. I’ll eat the M&M Peanuts later tonight,after supper.

    Wish I had a piece of cake!


  10. Eat the cake! Eat the cake! You ain’t fat at all! And even if you was, you’d still be effin’ funny!

  11. Happy birthday, Wanda. Have fun and eat cake. Then go for a walk three days next week.

  12. Happy birthday, Wanda! Clearly, wicked elves snuck into your closet and shrank your clothes. I know it happens!

  13. Happy Birthday to you and many mooooooor! My son’s birthday was Sunday. We had a dinner party for him here. He took a lot of food home, but left a lot of cake here. I looked for it Monday. Couldn’t find it. My wife said, “Get to the gym.” Guess she’s tired of seeing me in the same two pair of pants. HA!!!

  14. Your Big Sister

    remember, Aunt Alice always said “FAT PEOPLE ARE HAPPY PEOPLE”.


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