During your ride you will learn many fantastic things.
You will laugh, and wonder in amazement.
You will see, hear and experience things foreign to you.
But, as with all rides into a new place there are a few rules you must follow for your safety.
1. If you ask me to do something, I will do it – without reminders from you; without questions from you regarding the status of whatever it is; without you stepping in to do it or to offer help. I am competent.
2. If you don’t want to know what I’m thinking, don’t ask.
3. Detours probable. Go with the flow.
4. Yes, I do need this Coca Cola and I need it now and often.
5. We will be traveling at my pace and on my time schedule. No apologies for turning in early or staying up all night. It’s part of the fun. No refunds for those who miss the ride.
6. Yes, I do normally say whatever it is that pops into my head. If you are easily offended, exit to the left, NOW.
7. Anything you say can and will be used in one of my writings. Accept it. Life is funny and what you say is often funnier than my life.
8. Yes, I often forget what I was thinking, but I make up new things just as quickly and they are probably funnier anyway.
9. Creative messiness is part of the fun. OCD people will feel discomfort and an uncontrollable need to restore order. STOP. It is a waste of your time and can be undone in much less time.
10. WARNING: Writer at work. This life pauses while I write. No advance warning provided. Get used to it.
11. Pack a lunch. There is no telling when the next pause will occur.
12. Ooooohs and aaaaaahs are not welcome. They are expected.
13. Orange moons, witches eyes, and puppies are cute. This ride stops for cute.
14. Many emotions will be experienced. If they aren’t happy ones, keep them to yourself. I’m a humor writer.
15. Do not argue with me. I am always semi-right. Those parts where I may not be right, don’t exist.
16. A sharp tongue and sharp wit go hand in hand. Be careful lest you get hurt by one of them.
17. If I think it’s funny, then it’s funny. Laugh dammit!
18. Life isn’t fair, but the fare for this ride is becoming a fan of my writing.
19. If you find anything strange on the ride, I probably lost it. Keep it though. I probably don’t remember that it was mine in the first place.
20. Take notes. Brilliant ideas are fleeting as are most things in life.
From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2011 All Rights Reserved