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Lost In Translation Yet Again


Parkour (sometimes abbreviated PK and pronounced parr coor) is a method of movement focused on moving around obstacles with speed and efficiency in public while breaking as few bones as possible. There is added joy and bragging rights when this is accomplished in front of many friends.

A phenomenon slowly being adopted in the South due to translation problems.

Many things come slow to the South.

Not because we, who live in the South, are slow.

Or ignorant.

Or even red-neck.

But rather because we take our time to figure out what the hell you said.

I submit this example for your review:

Grandson (GS): “Dad. I’m in the emergency room.”
Dad of grandson (DOG): “Where? Why? What happened?”
GS: “I broke my arm.”
DOG: “How did you do that?”
GS: “I was jumping over trashcans.”
DOG: “You were jumping over trashcans? Why would you do that?”
GS: “I was practicing parkour, Dad.”
DOG: “Practicing parking horses? What the hell are you talking about?”
GS: “No, Dad. Parkour. Not parking horses. I jumped the trashcans the first time. The second time I caught my foot, fell and when I tried to catch myself on my arm it snapped.”
DOG: “How old are you son?”
GS: “I’ll be sixteen in 3 days.”
DOG: “And that makes you old enough to park whores in trashcans?’
GS: “No, Dad. I wasn’t parking whores. I was practicing parkour.”
DOG: “Don’t your momma have anything to say about this parking whore business of yours?’
GS: “Dad. Stop it. Laughing makes my arm hurt.”

Traceurs, as the practitioners of parkour are called, take the most direct path through an obstacle as rapidly as that route can be traversed safely.

Exactly how much time can be saved by going over a trash can and breaking one’s arm as opposed to going around it and being safe? And is there a direct route thru a brick wall?

Wait! I digress.

DOG: “Son. I think it’s time we have a talk about your choice of hobbies. Trash cans. Parking whores. Football. You have to make a choice. You can’t be good at everything. Well, right now you can’t be good at anything.”

I remember when my sons were developing skills in each stage of their growth. One stage was developing spatial awareness. It’s that thing that allows you to know when your feet hit the ground with each step or your face hits the table when spatial awareness fails.

In parkour, developing one’s level of spatial awareness is often used to aid development in the speed and precision of passing through objects quickly. Also, efficiency involves avoiding injuries, both short and long term.

GS: “Dad. Are you coming to the hospital?”

DOG: “I’m on my way. Just tell me where to find the whores you parked so I can pick them up before they give your name to the cops.”

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2011 All Rights Reserved
www.wandaargersinger.com

About Wanda Argersinger

9 comments

  1. Do these parked whores have to pay for their parking space? They do in Amsterdam. Which brings up another point. Either they are very big trash cans or very small whores. It would be a tight fit no matter what and I think that might diminish some of their ‘assets’. Is Oscar the Grouch involved in any of this trash can filling stuff?

  2. That is some srsly weird shizz-nit. Weird makes some good ppsts though.

  3. Hilarious! Wanda, you’re one funny lady. Keep it up.

  4. How do I have a 22 year old boy and 3 teenage girls and I have never heard of Parkour or Traceurs? It must be coming even slower to small town NC. Now I need to do a little research and see if kids here have heard of it. I’ll just keep the whore part to myself when asking around!

  5. ROFLMAO….gotta love these 21st century teens….

  6. At least he didn’t break his arm on electronics. giggle
    ROFLMAO!!
    Gosh, all my son did was break some teeth, cut his chin and get seriously bruised from jumping ramps with a stolen bicycle.

  7. DOG says to self: “I wonder how much a psychologist costs.”

    hahaha’ouch’hahahaha

  8. DOG: “You haven’t been eating any of that stuff I marked “geo-spatial imagery” have you??

    DG; “For God’s sake dad! You know I don’t use drugs that space me out.’

  9. watch out for them park whores they are everywhere just ask gs he found one and broke his arm

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