After all, if he were around today he would still need a place to duck into for his quick change act.
If he still needed to execute that quick change act there would still be a need for telephone booths.
If there were still telephone booths I wouldn’t be walking around every afternoon looking like Nannuck of the North on a tropical island.
See? It is all his fault.
The demise of telephone booths I mean.
And it’s this very time of year that I could certainly use a telephone booth.
I tried dressing for the day during the morning hours before the sun comes up. I end up looking something like the rest of the Eskimos around here. Bundled in cold weather attire for the cold weather that lasts all of about 27 ½ minutes each day.
I also tried dressing for the afternoon weather before leaving for work. I don’t care about the comments and stares I get with bare skin showing on my arms and legs. It’s the icicles hanging from my nose and eyelashes that cause problems.
There are never enough tissues to contend with facial freezing.
Either manner of dress is going to cause problems during the day.
Looking like a tourist in the morning causes premature freezing.
Looking like an Eskimo in a tropical climate makes me perspire. A lot.
I thought about carrying an extra set of clothes to change into once the sun wakes up but where would I change?
There are no phone booths thanks to Superman.
My van is out. I got really weird stares the first time I tried changing in there. I think my boobs obstructed my view of the road. Either that or those passing on the left thought butt cheeks on the driver’s window were a bit out of place when there was only one person in the van, and the van was traveling down the highway.
I tried hiding behind my cell phone to change clothes.
Forget that. Holding the phone and trying to change presents its own set of problems, that’s without mentioning I couldn’t run fast enough to avoid some things being thrown at me. Or even run fast enough to gather other things being thrown. I’d like to see Superman try to change clothes behind a cell phone. It is his fault after all.
The only place I could find even a semblance of a phone booth was one of those half phone booth looking things connected to 4 other half phone booth looking things at the airport.
With all the identification I had to show just to get to the booth, remaining anonymous was not an option. That was after spending most of my lunch hour trying to locate a parking place. I wasn’t even able to execute the clothing change and still had to pay the $17.23 minimum parking fee.
So, if you see a sweltering Eskimo in Florida, or a freezing tourist looking lost, that would be me.
Remember though, it’s not my fault. I would change my clothes to something more fitting the weather but I can’t thanks to Superman and the demise of the phone booth.
From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
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