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Superman Is To Blame – And I Have The Proof

Personally I blame Superman.

After all, if he were around today he would still need a place to duck into for his quick change act.

If he still needed to execute that quick change act there would still be a need for telephone booths.

If there were still telephone booths I wouldn’t be walking around every afternoon looking like Nannuck of the North on a tropical island.

See? It is all his fault.

The demise of telephone booths I mean.

And it’s this very time of year that I could certainly use a telephone booth.

I tried dressing for the day during the morning hours before the sun comes up. I end up looking something like the rest of the Eskimos around here. Bundled in cold weather attire for the cold weather that lasts all of about 27 ½ minutes each day.

I also tried dressing for the afternoon weather before leaving for work. I don’t care about the comments and stares I get with bare skin showing on my arms and legs. It’s the icicles hanging from my nose and eyelashes that cause problems.

There are never enough tissues to contend with facial freezing.

Either manner of dress is going to cause problems during the day.

Looking like a tourist in the morning causes premature freezing.

Looking like an Eskimo in a tropical climate makes me perspire. A lot.

I thought about carrying an extra set of clothes to change into once the sun wakes up but where would I change?

There are no phone booths thanks to Superman.

My van is out. I got really weird stares the first time I tried changing in there. I think my boobs obstructed my view of the road. Either that or those passing on the left thought butt cheeks on the driver’s window were a bit out of place when there was only one person in the van, and the van was traveling down the highway.

I tried hiding behind my cell phone to change clothes.

Once.

Forget that. Holding the phone and trying to change presents its own set of problems, that’s without mentioning I couldn’t run fast enough to avoid some things being thrown at me. Or even run fast enough to gather other things being thrown. I’d like to see Superman try to change clothes behind a cell phone. It is his fault after all.

The only place I could find even a semblance of a phone booth was one of those half phone booth looking things connected to 4 other half phone booth looking things at the airport.

With all the identification I had to show just to get to the booth, remaining anonymous was not an option. That was after spending most of my lunch hour trying to locate a parking place. I wasn’t even able to execute the clothing change and still had to pay the $17.23 minimum parking fee.

So, if you see a sweltering Eskimo in Florida, or a freezing tourist looking lost, that would be me.

Remember though, it’s not my fault. I would change my clothes to something more fitting the weather but I can’t thanks to Superman and the demise of the phone booth.

From the life and mind of:
Wanda M. Argersinger
© 2011 All Rights Reserved
www.wandaargersinger.com

About Wanda Argersinger

10 comments

  1. I hate it when my boobs obstruct the view of the road. My husband? Does not hate it.

  2. ROFLMAO! OMG! What a great way to start the day! Your images will stay with me a loooooong time.

    @Dawn – typical man. Bless their hearts.

  3. Silly comment box froze up. It must be wearing tourist clothes.

    Joking aside, in Wisconsin I learned this really neat clothing trick. It’s called layering. But if you did that you wouldn’t have us snorting our oatmeal.

  4. Love the images! And…glad to know that I’m not the only one who misses telephone booths. Your writing, as always, starts my day off right.

  5. Well, like Sharon, in Wisconsin by this time of year the layering goes in the opposite direction. We go outside and face the cold wind and rush back inside to ADD a few layers.
    It’s been a long time since I’ve been in Florida. They don’t still have public toilets with the stalls where you could make the switch?
    Janet Elaine Smith, multi-genre author

  6. Which came first, the disappearance of superman or the disappearance of the phone booth? Perhaps he is cursing the invention of the cell phone!

  7. Nice way to start the day. I’m not snorting my oatmeal, but I enjoyed your humor. In Ohio we are experiencing sorta the same thing as you. Do I wear a long-sleeved top, sweater and jeans or a short sleeved top, hoodie, and capris? Do I wear socks and walking shoes? Loafers? Flip-flops? Yep. I truly understand what you are saying!

  8. There is an answer to this problem. I of course do not know it, but every problem does have an answer. Might I suggest a cloak? For now just a cloak of many colors, but in the future, a cloak of darkness or Star Trekkian invisibility.

  9. Hmmm maybe the muslims have something going then. They never had superman (I don’t think they did anyway) What I’m getting at is, you could be muslim and hide behind a vail for the first half hour of the day and then for the rest of the day, just ditch the veil and robes, and stuff them in your purse. It’s big enough, isn’t it. and no one would be the wiser. haha

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